The story was special. The legend was powerful.
There were moments or story lines I desperately wished for, and moments that at times seemed small but were so important to discover and delve into. This is a book of these moments that I wanted to ex...
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Can sat at the entrance of their mountain cottage. Even now he still thought of this place as "theirs" not "his." It felt different being there alone again. Can reminisced about the first time he brought Sanem to their cottage; her beautiful pink dress quickly turned into his t-shirt, shorts and flip flops.
He remembered thinking- just like that, you are more beautiful just like that.
That night they spoke of their childhood moments, secrets, and danced under the stars. It was only when they were dancing; Sanem in his arms, close to his chest that Can couldn't hold back the secret he was holding in for so long, he needed Sanem to know the truth about him. So with the courage he had been building up for days, he finally whispered to Sanem that he was the man she was searching for, her Albatross.
Can laughed as he recalled how afraid he was to utter those words and yet she wouldn't hear them. The bravest moment in his life and she was asleep in his arms. He shook his head with a sad smile as wished for simpler times like that night.
Even though Can didn't have Sanem's photographic memory, he felt like he did when it came to Sanem. He remembered every detail and every moment with her. It was engrained in his mind, in his heart, he felt it in every breathe, in every beat of his heart. But just as he remembered the first time Sanem was at this mountain cottage, he also remembered the last night they were there. The look on her face as Sanem saw Polen next to him. The hurt and anger that rolled off his body as Sanem tried to explain herself. He couldn't listen to her then. He felt betrayed and made a fool once again with her lies.
"You are like everyone else to me now" - in that moment he thought he meant it but really he just wanted to find the most hurtful thing he could say, and he succeeded. The way she crumbled from those words. The way it made her leave.
Can tried to force the memory out of his mind as he gathered wood for the fire.
He was grateful for the repetitive chore of chopping wood. He hoped it would silence his mind but all his thoughts were louder than ever.
She wanted to explain and you wouldn't let her.
She did it to protect you and you didn't care.
She tried to work through the hurt and you time and time again rejected her- insulted her- pushed her away.
The chill in the night transported him to a cold cabin at a ski resort when him and Sanem were huddling together for warmth.
Sanem shivering said, "Do you know the mallard ducks flap their wings in the winter to keep their mates warm?"
"If it was cold why wouldn't they just fly away?" Can asked confused.
"If you love someone you don't leave. Would love even freeze? It wouldn't.. If it's true love, but I don't think you know what that is. You would rather chop your wood in your mountain cottage to stay warm. I think that suits you more."
She was right. The one person who would always stay is the one person he berated long enough that she found the courage to walk away. If he wasn't so heartbroken, Can would be proud of Sanem for moving on in life. She deserved someone that was deserving of her, and Can didn't know if he measured up anymore.
Can knew he lost Sanem for good but in that moment he made a promise to himself- this time he would show he could stay.
Can lost in thought suddenly heard a familiar voice clearing her throat.
He turned hoping he wasn't hearing things.
And there she was. Sanem standing there with a smile on her face, and a suitcase on the ground next to her.
Can in shock dropped the ax on the ground and remained frozen just staring at Sanem in confused disbelief. He hoped this wasn't a cruel dream he would wake up from.
For a few moments they just stood there staring in silence. Sanem's eyes shining with glints of tears in her eyes.
Can couldn't take the silence anymore. He needed to know if she was real.
"What are you doing here?" he said with a confused and trepidatious tone.
She stared at him not ready yet to speak.
"Weren't you going to Izmir?"
Sanem shook her head and said with tears in her eyes, "I... didn't go."
Can nodded still not understanding, "Why?"
Sanem began to smile as clearly Can was not grasping what she meant and she decided to show him.
"Hold me" Sanem said as she started to run toward Can.
Cans dazed caught Sanem just as she leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waste.
Sanem saw Can was still in shock and so she decided to bring him back to life. With a mischievous smile she leaned in and kissed him.
Can felt all his questions disappear, all his thoughts quiet, the world was nothing. Life was just this kiss. Sanem gripped the back of Can's neck as she deepened the kiss with a fierceness of a long awaited reunion. Her lips slowly parted, letting Can explore her lips and her tongue. Can missed the way she tasted and the way her scent would surround him. He didn't care if this was all a dream he was going to love every moment.
