The story was special. The legend was powerful.
There were moments or story lines I desperately wished for, and moments that at times seemed small but were so important to discover and delve into. This is a book of these moments that I wanted to ex...
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It took Can a few moments to realize his truck was parked in the unloading lane at the Istanbul Airport. He remembered driving out of the Fikri Harika parking lot but after that it was a blur, until a beeping car behind him shook him back to reality, his only thoughts were of Sanem. As the Valet was waving him forward, Can couldn't move. He couldn't escape his thoughts and wondered if Sanem's private charter was already on their way to Izmir. He wished her flight would have been at the same airport. He imagined if it was he would somehow feel her presence as he waited for his own flight. Can craved to feel Sanem just for a few moments more, but devastatingly, Sanem's flight was somewhere else. And the only thing Can felt was a cold emptiness.
A car angrily beeped and sped around Can's car but he truly didn't care. He just sat there staring at his plane ticket. Can stared at that crisp piece of paper with a sense of Deja Vu, remembering the last time he almost left Istanbul. He thought about how he held that ticket debating what to do back then, when he loved Sanem and couldn't reveal the secret of him being her albatross. Then he thought about Sanem on those cursed rocks when she told him to leave that first time, that he read her feelings wrong. That moment ripped something deep inside of him that he never truly recovered from. The rejection tore at his soul.
Can was then transported back to when he and Sanem were locked in that warehouse; when Sanem wrapped his injured hand with her bandana. He watched as Sanem cleaned and wrapped his wound. Can couldn't speak but his eyes were begging for Sanem to ask him to stay, but she never did. She just stared at him with the saddest eyes, and he wished he could understand her more.
That night when Can drove Sanem home, he was lost in his thoughts. Can hoped that Sanem was just hiding her feelings, that she was scared. But a little voice in his mind, deep down, whispered; maybe he did make it all up in his mind. Maybe she never loved him. Maybe he was a fool for letting her in. But right before Sanem was about to leave his car for the last time, Can saw the truth. Can saw Sanem's tear filled eyes and heard the break in her voice asking him the same question he is asking himself at this very moment.
"Are you really leaving?"
Though time had passed, that question never truly left him.
"Are you really leaving?"
It was the only thing that ever made sense to him before...
Before Sanem - Can thought to himself.
The last time Can planned to leave he couldn't even make it to the airport, he just stared for hours at his plane ticket replaying in his mind the tear soaked goodbye between him and Sanem. That night the idea of him leaving felt like a thousand punches to the chest. He wanted to tell Sanem everything back then: all his feelings, all his hopes, all his secrets, especially that he was her albatross. But instead of telling Sanem everything, he just said goodnight. The way he left things so unfinished created this need inside of him. All Can wanted to do that night sitting in his car staring at that plane ticket was tear it into a million pieces, set it on fire and let the ashes blow away.
Now, once again, Can was left staring at a plane ticket that could take him away from all the hurt. And suddenly he felt the same need grow inside of him.
Can's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the window. He turned to see the Valet waving at him with a mumbled, "Excuse me sir?"
Can rolled down his window, "Yes?"
"Do you need the valet sir? I can park your car."
Can thought for a moment then said, "No. I won't be needing valet parking, thank you."
The Valet was confused as he watched Can pull away from the curb and head back on the highway.
Can didn't know where he was going but he knew his heart would send him in the right direction.
