The story was special. The legend was powerful.
There were moments or story lines I desperately wished for, and moments that at times seemed small but were so important to discover and delve into. This is a book of these moments that I wanted to ex...
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Sanem squinted as she was awakened by the sounds of a delivery truck unloading different slabs of meat at Ayhan's butcher. It had been six weeks since Sanem moved in with Ayhan and she still hadn't gotten used to the early mornings: the loud trucks, drivers yelling back and forth while unloading, and the jolly good morning greetings of the early shoppers for the day.
"At least it doesn't smell bad," Sanem thought to herself while trying to keep her eyes shut. She wished she could go back to sleep but if these past weeks have taught her anything, it was that it was pointless. No tossing or turning would help Sanem get to that sweet relief of her dreams. Sanem sighed and opened her eyes slowly, getting used to the early morning glow that filled her room. Her blinds were down but they still let small strips of light reflect onto her walls. She stood up slowly, rubbing her eyes, starting her morning routine: going to the kitchen to make a cup of cay, sitting by her desk as she opened her laptop ready to work on her novel.
Although this was Sanem's routine, Sanem was having a hard time moving past the same few pages in her work. Some mornings she would only write a paragraph and then erase it quickly, embarrassed by the irrelevance of it. Other days she would write a whole page and then the next morning, she would reread it and realize it wasn't right. After days of writing, deleting, and rewriting, Sanem's mind went completely blank. The blank page and unrelenting blinking curser taungted her now, questioning if she really was a writer.
Sanem a nice long sip of her fresh cay warming her from the inside out and said encouragingly," Come on Sanem, you can do this."
Just as she was about to touch the keys, Sanem heard a familiar cough coming from outside. She rushed over pulling up the blinds and opening the window to get a better look. Leaning over the frame of the window, Sanem was able to watch as her father crossed the street to get an early order in from Ayhan's butcher. Sanem wondered if she should meet him downstairs. Maybe give him a morning hug? But Sanem thought against it. It might be a bad idea. Sanem didn't want to cause her parents any more pain than she already had. Or worse feel the rejection and the look of disappointment in her father's eyes. So instead, Sanem chose to stand by the window watching her father walk in and out of Ayhan's store. She could feel how close they were to each other, and it killed her that she couldn't even say 'hi'.
As Nihat was walking back home, Sanem willed her father to look up. Sanem begged for Nihat to give her a caring glance in her direction. But he never did. He walked straight home without looking back.
When Sanem lost sight of her father, she looked around her newly decorated room. It was so adult that she still wasn't used to it. The bed was slightly larger, the desk fit for an actual office. It was exactly what she needed, but Sanem still felt an ache for what she lost a little over a month ago.
Although the security of Sanem's childhood had come to an end, there was a new exciting chapter of independence and adulthood that had started. The two feelings of heartbreak and hope constantly tugged at Sanem like two children grabbing at her sleeves, wishing she would choose one to focus on more than the other.
