Good Luck Anna

Thunderstorms

  Next week starts off positively, when Alex's breakfast porridge slop is dumped in front of him, I pick up the spoon and he opens his mouth without protest.

  The first swallow seems to physically hurt as he winces with the force of it but as soon as its down he opens his mouth again. This continues until the bowl is cleared. 

  Filled with pride, I drop a kiss on his forehead the way mum used to do with us, softly saying "thank you Alex, you did great."

   Pulling back to his tear rimmed eyes staring at me stunned. Alex swallows hard biting his lip before he turns his gaze from me barely holding it together. 

  That's when I get a front row seat to the mask that's usually reserved for dad slip into place. We've been wondering what form Alex's recovery would take but it seems like he is just going to bury it all.

  My only hope is that everything rattling around inside his head doesn't entirely consume him before we can get home and to a therapist.

   We spend the next few days working on strengthening his legs, by Wednesday he can shakily walk the length of his room. He seems reluctant to take a shower, so we have spent our time on the other items on the list.

  On Thursday the reason for water aversion becomes apparent as a huge storm rolls in, he has been on the verge of a panic attack since the rain started hours ago. 

   It constantly smacks into the window causing his breathing to get more erratic by the minute. He couldn't eat earlier and even after medication to help with his anxiety he only seems to be getting worse.

  I sent Edward out to get Alex headphones or something so we can at least try to drown the rain for him. Edward has been gone for ages and each time Alex escapes from a flashback his condition worsens. 

  If only I had a phone so I could tell Edward to hurry the fuck up before we lose all the progress Alex has made over the past few days.

  Edward clatters through the door his face is livid but he smooths it out when our eyes meet. "Sorry it took so long, ran into an incident while I was out." 

  He is trying to take earplugs out of a box but his hands shake so much that I relieve him of the task popping them out with ease and ramming them into Alex's ears, then slipping the matching eye mask over his head.

   I mouth "try to relax" he only nods while terror lives on the surface of his eyes when I cover them. Taking his hand in mine to make sure he knows that he isn't alone.

  Angling my body to Edward who is now wrestling with a phone box still shaking with rage. "What has pissed you off so much?" My tone is playful until his eyes meet mine and I suddenly understand. 

   "Dad" I murmur. He nods once handing me the phone that barely registers in my fingers while I wait for him to elaborate.

  Edward sighs "your father has hired another search team, he has got it into his head that the current might have taken Daisy south" his hands ball into fists as he grits out, "Julian is behaving like a selfish prick Daisy would be so fucking disappointed in him."

  I'm not sure that I will ever get used to Edward swearing but the fact that even he has been pushed to the edge validates all the rage I currently feel for the man who claims to be my father. "Is dad ever planning to check on his son's well being?" I keep my voice sweet even although I want to strangle dad.

  Murderous rage flits over Edward's features, his glare could burn a hole into the wall. "No, he claims that you will both be fine since I am here."

  My hand automatically clenches around the phone making me acutely aware that I may be about to potentially break another phone.

 "What a cunt" I growl Edward flinches at the use of the 'worst' swear word.

  "Yes, that he is" Edward sounds defeated but my only thought is that dad is lucky he is on a boat, or I would hunt him down and gut him for this.

   Edward is purposely not telling me something about their conversation but I honestly don't think that my body can hold any more hate right now so I silently thank Edward for sparing me from it.