Good Luck Anna

The Last Straw

   Scrambling out of the room Alex is where I left him, foot rapid rattling against the floor. The creaking floorboards brings his attention to me, causing a loud gasp at the thick angry red welt across his left cheek it stands out like a beacon in contrast to his pale skin but it's his right eye that really makes me sob. Swelling is already overtaking his eyelid, bruising spreading throughout.

  Alex holds me to him once again allowing me to soak his top with tears and snot. "You ready to go?" his voice is gruff, obviously struggling too, I just nod into his chest. Alex takes my hand as we walk side by side down the stairs, I don't miss that he has me on the wall side using his body as a barrier in case dad decides to start throwing things at us.

  "Wait, where are the cases?" I whisper having no desire to see my father again today.

  "In my car" he whispers back.

  My anxiety explodes through the roof again, Alex takes at least fifteen minutes of solid pacing just to get into the back seat and most of the time his eyes are closed the entire journey. This will only end badly. "We should just get a taxi, we don't need your car." My throat constricts at the thought of having to spend any extra time here with dad marching around like a raging bull.

  "No. We are taking my car. I paid for it... we are going to need it anyway." Alex clearly has plans already forming for us in his head.

  I nod while Alex gently opens the front door, out of the corner of my eye, I see mum's vase. Alex had moved it to the living room table during one of his three AM cleaning sprees.  I instantly become relieved he did or it would be shattered pieces by now with the force that Alex hit the table where it usually resides.

  Thrusting my bag into Alex's arms I bolt to the room, Alex hisses my name but I'm back by his side in seconds the vase in a death grip. Alex quietly closes the door before I say, "I couldn't risk dickhead breaking this beauty." I squeeze it to my chest while we walk across the garden to the unattached two door garage.

  Alex is silent clenching and unclenching his fist over and over. I try desperately once again to get Alex to abandon the car but he just shakes his head in response.

  When his black VW Golf comes into view he begins trembling. He has had this car for over a year and it's still in pristine condition even although he used to drive through London traffic every day to take us to school not a single mark has ever been left on it.

  Alex is an incredibly safe driver which is the main reason I know for certain that it wasn't reckless driving that caused their accident.

  I open the back door, buckling in mum's vase, Alex mirrors me dropping my bag on top of one of our cases. While I fuss over the vase making sure that it's not going to fall out, Alex closes his side, face disappearing from my sight.

When I'm satisfied that it won't move I close my door. Alex has both his hands splayed across the roof his eyes are closed breathing heavy, he is barely hanging on.

  Mimicking him from before saying, "you ready to go?" He releases a ragged breath and nods, swinging open the door and vaulting himself inside. Following his lead, I get in the passenger's side.

  Buckling myself in, I swear the whole car moves with Alex's shaking. Rubbing slow circles on his back while he stares out the windshield. Cursing myself for missing when his eyes begin fluttering, I only manage to call out his name before a flashback snatches my brother from me.

  As always, the tears begin almost instantly. The quicker I can get him out of it, the less severe the subsequent panic attack will be.

 "Alex sweetie, I need you to come back to me please, you are safe." My voice is soft but it does the trick, his shoulders sag and the inevitable panic attack takes full control of him.