Good Luck Anna

New Home

Thomas

   Eventually, we manage to stop crying long enough to untangle from each other, until Anna spots the dreaded picture that set Alex off when they moved in, as a result we end up back in bed for another hour.

   Before she gets up again, I make sure to flip over the picture in hope we can get out of the room. I wouldn't utter it aloud but I'm quite worried how Alex will be dealing with today and would like to see with my own eyes how he is coping.

  Judging by the coffee scent drifting into the room he is alive at least. When we do finally leave, Alex is in the kitchen his crap look matching ours. He has clearly had an emotional morning himself as his eyes are still red and bloodshot while he gazes off at nothing. The moment he notices us he turns away to switch on the kettle, most likely hide that tortured expression from his face.

   When we take the breakfast stools Alex turns back, his face the usual blank void I've grown used to with him. Shame the state of his eyes give him away. "You want coffee Thomas or some of Anna's delightful Christmas spice tea." Alex screws up his face and Anna gives a small sad laugh head hanging low.

   Alex closes his eyes composing himself, throwing the poor guy a bone, I respond "God no, how is it spicy and sickly sweet at the same time, coffee is great thanks." He nods getting to work taking care of us.

  Reaching out to Anna I give her hand a squeeze, she moves her fingers to link us together, feeding each other strength. Alex slides our cups toward us, gazing over Anna's drooped head his eyes begin to swim with tears.

   Alex clenches his jaw, "right what can I make you both for breakfast."

  "Em, I... I ... don't... I don't know." Anna crumbles tears falling from her like a downpour. Alex beats me by leaning over the counter to hug her.

  "It's fine you can let me know later, how about the two of you get ready first so Edward doesn't feel over dressed when he gets here." Anna nods into his shoulder then pulls away. I keep my hand wrapped with hers while guiding Anna back to her room. Glancing over my shoulder Alex has his head in his hand's shoulders shaking violently.

   Anna sits on the bed while I quickly change into fresh clothes, then plopping next to her rubbing her back in large slow circles that seems to be a comforting motion for her, until Edwards jolly voice makes its way to us. Grabbing the over sized jumper she seems to live in I hand it to Anna, she sluggishly pulls it on over her pyjamas.

   The sound of Edwards voice seems to stir her back to life, slipping off the bed she plods to the door with me trailing after her like a lost puppy.

  Edward seems like the only one of us with enough energy to fake happiness, the rest of us are sullen, exhausted and miserable.

   Anna had told me that she had put a strict ban on sad gifts for Christmas since she was almost totally undone by the birthday presents from them. I don't expect anything but each one of them hand me a gift, I'm most shocked about Edward since I've only met the guy three times, how would he even know that I would be here. Regardless my heart aches with their kindness.

  Edward got me a fresh bottle of aftershave, I was just using the last of the stuff I had kicking around my room but when Anna told me Cool Water was addictive, well fuck if it didn't become my favourite aftershave right then.

   A small rectangle envelope is from Alex, I assume it's a gift card of some sort but when it falls into my hand, I'm rendered completely speechless. Staring at the key card in my hand unable to believe what I'm looking at, my face flies to Alex.

   He is already in deep concentration with the puzzle cube Edward got him so misses me boring holes into his face. All I can murmur out is "Alex."

   When his attention finds me, it drops to my hands. "Even if you are in a fight with Anna just remember you always have a place here with your name on it." Covering my mouth to keep the emotions battling to break free, I don't realise until my fingers get damp that I've completely failed at hiding them, so much for no sad gifts.

   I have a home. A home where I am wanted.

   Roughly rubbing my aching eyes, I manage to thank Alex who only nods while wholly consumed by the puzzle in his hands.

   Lastly Anna's gift in a small box, I've just got myself back together not sure that I can take any more right now. Braving through the gift that could most likely break my heart, a key ring slides into my hand.

  Flipping it over what looks like a strange soundwave is engraved onto the side, I eye Anna curiously, and she smiles for the first time today, its weak but still blows layers of sadness off me.

  "Since mixtapes are out of fashion, I made you a playlist. Just scan that with your phone and it will pop up." What a goddamn angel, pretty certain between Anna and Alex they are both trying to kill me with kindness.

  Nothing on this earth is more personal than giving someone a collection of songs that make you think of them.