Good Luck Anna

Useless

    Tw; one little bad word used against our sweet bean 

  Anna

On Monday, I take the earlier train in hopes of getting Emma alone before her terrifying friends arrive. Alex had wished me good luck on the way out of the door and hell if I need it now.

   I've been pacing for the past half an hour no sign of her. Maybe she is off today. Oh god what if she is off because of what happened with us on Saturday... what if she is too repulsed to see me again.

  No Alex is right, I must have read it wrong the other day. Why would she progress things with us if she hated me.

  Halting my pacing deciding that Emma must not be here today. I Shuffle my backpack higher on my shoulders to start trudging through the gates.

  I'm stomping up the stone steps when that familiar mane of flame red hair catches my eyes. Emma taking centre position, flanked by two of the worst bitches I've ever had the misfortune of meeting on either side. Upon seeing this I almost chicken out, not wanting to end up on their hate radar.

   Woman up Anna you can do this.

  Squeezing through a couple crowds of aimlessly milling people, until I'm finally behind her. Now or never.

   I tap her shoulder, when that does nothing, I give her another tap. When she swings to face me the look she gives could curdle milk, but steel myself asking with as much confidence as I can muster, "can I talk to you please."

  The witches cackle, but she is queen bee here silencing them with a raise of a finger. I would give them a smug grin if she didn't also look like she wanted to claw my eyes out.

  "You get two minutes shortcake" Emma uses her still raised finger to jab to the left, indicating to the side of the main building.

   We walk in silence as the first bell rings out. Once, we are safely from prying eyes she turns on me fury emanating from her like a toxic cloud.

   "What the fuck do you think you are doing talking to me here! You know the reputation I have to uphold."

  Feeling true terror, I stammer "things ended weird on Saturday... I wanted to make sure we are cool...and ask you out on a... date."

  Choking on her toxic rage Emma takes a step toward me as I find myself taking one back. "You have got to be fucking kidding me! No I don't want to go on a date with you."

   Tears fill my eyes begging that they don't fall, a quiet whisper of "why?" Leaves my lips as she towers over me.

  "Aside from me not being a lesbo like you, my family would have a fucking fit, your poor now. You are useless to me." Her cruel words slice clean through my heart as a broken sob racks from my chest.

   In a broken whisper I ask, "then why... why do that me on... on Saturday."

  "Simple Anna, because you are easy." That's the last straw, I slide down the wall behind me until my arms wrap around my knees.

  Emma turns marching away her words having done the job of shredding my heart. Glaring at her back, I swear I catch regret when she gives me one last glance before rounding the corner.

   I can't breathe through the sobs ruining me. Useless she called me useless. Just like dad did. Maybe they are both right.

   Another bell rings out above me, so I drag my trembling body back to its feet. Stumbling back the way I just came, leaving through the school gates, heading straight home.

   Every time the crying stops the word useless floats back through my head setting me off again.

   Bolting into the foyer, I'm certain that Billy our security guy calls out to me but I can't take any more public embarrassment today. Clattering into the elevator, hammering the button for our floor before he can reach me.

  I head straight to my room to bury myself in duvets and tears.