Selena

45 | Angels

SELENA M. ANDERSON

"They're so tiny," I mutter while lightly touching the little clasped fingers.

"You carried them to full-term. The doctors were slightly worried that they would be pre-mature, but they're both perfectly healthy. You just need to stay for a couple more days to recover from the c-section," Sophia smiles softly looking at the sleeping twins. 

I just woke up after my surgery. Sophia told me that Laurier had already called an ambulance and she met us in the emergency room.

When I woke up, Sophia was sitting beside my bed watching the babies and Laurier was snoring on the sofa.

Apparently she couldn't get rid of him.

"Do you want to try holding them?"

I watch the sleeping babies in their bassinet and shake my head.

My sleeping babies.

"Maybe later, I don't want to wake them up."

"Okay, walking around a bit should be fine but don't overdo it with the stitches," Sophia fusses at me organizing stuff around the room.

I agree to everything and look at the light pink and blue blankets wrapped cozily around both babies.

"I refuse to let you eat this shit hospital food so mom is bringing by some dinner for you and some stuff from home."

Soph's mom, Dr. Anderson, would be arriving in about fifteen minutes. Sophia had stayed with me in the hospital on her days off but she had to get some rest before her next shift.

I rest on the bed until I hear Dr. Anderson arrive. She shuffles around the room and arranges stuff quietly to not wake me or the twins. When she gets to side of the room I'm facing, she notices I'm awake. 

"Hey sweetheart, Sophia told me you haven't held the babies yet. I know it's a little more difficult with twins, but do you want to try?"

I stay silent and continue to look out the window.

She moves around to face me and notices the tears building in my eyes. "Oh honey, what's wrong?" 

"I don't know if I can," I whisper, my voice cracking at the end. 

She reads me like a damn book and immediately knows what's wrong. 

"Selena, I've seen a lot of cases of abused children growing up and becoming parents. It's difficult when you haven't had a good example in your own life, but there isn't a strict line that draws what makes a good parent and what makes a bad parent. There is a lot of gray area there. A lot of parents are just trying to do what's best for their children. Sometimes they themselves don't even know what that is or how to get there. "

I frown at her, still slightly doped up from whatever the doctor's gave me. She laughs at my confused expression. 

"What I'm trying to say is that a bad parent couldn't even be bothered. The fact that you're worried about not being good enough shows that you care more than enough," Dr. Anderson sums it up in a soft voice. 

"I think I get it," I nod my head slowly and look over the babies. 

"Do you want to try holding them now?" She asks me and I agree hesitantly. 

"Here you go, sweetie." Dr. Anderson puts the little babies into my arms. They both remain asleep and softly nestle into my sides. 

"I know Sophia was helping you pick out some names, but have you officially decided yet?" She whispers quietly and runs her hands over the little soft baby blankets. 

I'm about to tell her the names I've picked, but at that moment a loud crash sounds on the opposite side of the room.

Both of the babies start crying loudly. 

We both look over and frown to see Laurier awake and alert.

Dr. Anderson takes my blue-blanketed baby from my as I soothe my baby girl.

"You better have a good reason for being here," I glare at Laurier who looks unfazed. 

He extends wide smile and hand towards Sophia's mom. "Weston Laurier. Nice to meet you, ma'am."

She looks a little apprehensive and places my baby boy back in my arms. "Laurier...You're the one who got Selena to the hospital?" 

"Yes, ma'am. Please just call me Weston–" 

I cut him off.  "Why are you still here?"

"I'm helped deliver the twins and I'm still offering up that job, you know, working for me," he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Dr. Anderson obviously mistakes the intention and glances between us worriedly. 

"No and no," I state bluntly. 

"What does that mean?"

"You didn't help deliver anything and I'm never going to work for you."

"I'll provide childcare," he continues offering clearly ignoring my blatant rejection. 

"I said no," I frown at him as the babies finally quiet down. 

Dr. Anderson finally steps in. "Weston, honey. Maybe you should leave for now and let Selena get some rest. I'm sure you can continue your employment efforts when she's been discharged."

Laurier glances at her looking unconvinced he'll ever get a chance to ask me again, but Dr. Anderson stands her ground and he finally gives in. I guess Sophia's told her about who he is. 

"Fine, I'll see you around Selena." He nods at me which I don't return and leaves the room with that.

Sophia couldn't get rid of him for two days and Dr. Anderson was able to do it in two minutes. 

I thank her with a sigh of relief and she immediately waves me off saying 'I need my rest'. She helps me put the babies back into their bassinets.

Before I can close my eyes, she prods me with the same question from before.

"So what did you decide on for their names?"

I whisper the names with a smile on my face as sleep clouds my senses, "Angelo and Felicity."

My two little angels.