natasha romanoff one-shots (gxg)

𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

a/n: you and nat break up and meet again years later. mostly angst

Loving Natasha was easy.

But sometimes, love isn't enough.

You got together under difficult circumstances, and that was something you never quite recovered from. Your relationship was strained, no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. You tried to fix it at some point, but it was beyond repair.

Being colleagues, friends and in a relationship was challenging. Going on missions together showed that all too often.

Still, neither of you could bring yourself to break up with the other. There was too much of that desperate, clinging love that kept you holding on to the thinnest of strings, the woven material so worn out and thin it was to rip at any given second. You refused to face reality and kept pushing that helpless thought back, knowing that if you were to actually acknowledge it for a moment, you'd crumble.

But eventually, it all became too much.

Soft kisses turned into teary eyed ones, warm hands turned cold. Talking about sweet nothings at night turned into sleeping as far apart as possible. What once felt cozy and familiar was soon a distant feeling; the coldness between you grew, and so did the painful longing for each other.

You wanted to be close. You wanted to be completely sure that this is it. The right person, at the right time. Your ride or die. The one who'd never leave. But with every fight, every fallen tear, every fleeting kiss it was hard to ignore the truth. Reality kept knocking on your door, reminding you that you're delusional. And every time you slammed the door shut, cursing that ugly feeling, the knowledge that you couldn't keep ignoring this for much longer grew. It haunted you like a dark cloud, following you wherever you went.

The breaking point came at a random Thursday afternoon, when you were watching tv. There was a significant amount of space between you and Natasha, and you hadn't kissed once since last night. And even then, the kiss felt forced. Gut-wrenching, almost.

And then, Natasha looked at you. Her green eyes pierced into yours, and you could see the despair in them. The fear. The realization that nothing is as it was. You instantly knew that you couldn't do this to her anymore, and yourself as well. It wasn't fair.

"We have to break up", you suddenly croaked out, your mouth dry.

Natasha just stared at you.

"It's just...it's not working anymore. And it wouldn't be fair to either one of us to pretend it is."

Still no reply.

"Please say something", you pleaded.

She didn't. She got up, grabbed her hoodie and stormed out of the room without making a single sound. You started tearing up when she slammed the door shut, only now comprehending what you just had just done.

The love of your life. Your girl. The woman who saved you, cared for you, protected you. The one you'd go through hell for. The one you held through sleepless nights, comforting her to sleep.

Suddenly, you felt unbelievably stupid.

. . .

After that, you didn't talk anymore.

Any effort from your side to discuss what happened was rejected instantly. Natasha refused to talk to you, look at you and sometimes even be in the same room as you.

You knew you deserved it. You really did.

And you also knew that you had to leave her alone now. That the damage was done, and you couldn't do anything to undo it.