Running To Him - Forbidden Hearts Series Book 6

45| Insatiable Sundays

"What's on your mind, Jackson? I can sense that you're upset. And considering what we just did for the past two hours, you should be anything but upset."

My extremely handsome husband was gloriously naked as he lay beside me on our king sized bed, my fingers stroking his black hair. Since today was Sunday and we were both off work, we did our usual routine that consisted of staying in bed together for the whole day. We had just finished an amazing session of Jackson savoring every inch of my body with his mouth before finally releasing himself inside me.

We were still trying to get pregnant. Unfortunately, we haven't had much luck as of yet. When I was in my fertile window last week, we not only had an abundant amount of sex, but I even tried little things like putting my legs up afterwards. I was willing to try anything at this point. Now I was out of the fertile window so all we could do was wait and see if I get my period or not.

"Jackson?" I asked again when he stayed silent. I could tell by the harsh frown on his beautiful face that something was wrong. And the fact that he couldn't seem to meet my gaze was telling. "Baby, talk to me. Communication, remember?"

In the beginning of our relationship, we learned the hard way that not communicating with each other and keeping things inside only led to pain and heartache. Even though Jackson Reese had always been the type of man to keep emotional stress to himself, he's been extremely open with me over the past couple years we've been together. That's why this silent treatment had me so worried.

When he finally spoke, his voice was low and hoarse, as if there was an internal battle going on inside him to keep himself from losing it.

"So much death," he rasped. "We've had so much death in this family over. Too much."

My chest ached at his words. Over the past couple years we've lost not only Jackson's mom, Everly, but Karma's mom and also Jamie's mom. The latter being the most recent. Not to mention we almost lost Lanie and her unborn son when they were in a car accident.

"I know," I replied softly. "It's so awful that—"

Cutting me off, his blue eyes finally met mine. "You don't understand. I can't take anymore of this. I can't—" Words failed him and he choked back a sob before reaching up to place his hand against my check. "I can't lose you, princess. Do you hear me?"

"Jackson, I'm not—"

"If you die, I die. Do you understand me, princess? I cannot live without you."

Reaching out, I tried to smooth his worried brows with my fingers. "Jackson, I'm fine. There's no need to worry about me. I'm yours. Forever yours, remember? I'm not going anywhere."

He shook his head in my hands. "I worry about...everything. I can't help it. Every time you leave for work I worry about car accidents. Anytime you go out with the girls, I worry about you getting mugged or some asshole trying something. I worry about you slipping in the goddamn shower. I just...worry. All the time."

Even though my heart broke at his words, I understood where it was coming from. When there was so much death around you, you couldn't help but grab on to those you loved with everything you had, just hoping that that was enough to keep them in your life.

"I love you so much," I whispered to him before pressing my lips softly against his. When he deepened it, my lips parted to welcome his tongue inside so I could taste even more of him.

"I love you, too, princess. Forever."

I knew I was breaking a promise with what I was going to tell him next, but I was desperate and willing to do anything to pull him out of that downward spiral into the rabbit hole of worry and despair he was about to go down.