Running To Him - Forbidden Hearts Series Book 6

48| The Night We Almost...

Today was a new day. And after the much needed big brother lecture from Jackson, followed by a hot and cleansing shower, I actually slept pretty well for a change. So, as I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror brushing my teeth, I just decided that today would be a good day to emerge from this safe haven I've locked myself in.

Even though I was feeling a little different today, I spent most of the morning and afternoon in my room. I couldn't help but think about everything that happened with Ollie and everything that Jackson told me. A part of me knew the truth. Deep down. One of the reasons that I left—probably the main reason—was because I was scared.

Way back when he and I first met in that coffee shop, I was in no way ready for a relationship. And that was more so because of my unfortunate dating history. I've had my guard up for a long time. Then there was that night in the hotel room after the wedding. The night we almost crossed that line...

"You're still overdressed," I murmured against his mouth at the same time I unzipped and pushed at his pants. "Let's get you out of these."

Before I could get him as naked as I was, he reached down and stilled my hands. "Jamie, wait," he rasped. "I don't think it's a good idea if anything else happens."

"Are you sure about that?" I kissed his neck and gripped his erection through his pants. "Something tells me you want me, Ollie."

He groaned as his body shook against mine. When he finally spoke, his voice was throaty and it sent chills down my spine. "Christ. Of course I want you."

"So, let's keep going."

I kissed him again, this time deeper than before. He responded to me just like I hoped he would. But when I tried to take off his pants again, he stopped me.

"Jamie, we can't."

"Why not?"

His eyes held mine. And the way he was looking at me right now scared me a little. There was a longing in that blue gaze that I had hoped and prayed for all my life. For someone to really want me. Not use me like my ex's.

Ollie brushed my hair out of my face before stroking my cheek. "We agreed to no strings. And I respect that." The next part came in a voice that cracked a little. "But you aren't a one night stand to me. I can't sleep with you...and never see you again. I can't do that, Jamie. As much as I want you."

His confession hit me hard and I started to sit up on the bed, causing Ollie to lay on his side next to me. It's not like it was a newsflash that he was interested in me. It didn't take a genius to figure that one out.

"Ollie, I'm not...I mean, I'm not ready for—"

"I know," he said softly. "I know you aren't."

I exhaled a heavy sigh. Suddenly I felt cold and alone. I understood the way he felt. And just like he wasn't going to ask more from me than I was ready to give, I was going to do the same.

"Are you okay?' He reached out and took my hand in his. "Do you want me to go to my room?"

It's what I should want. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it wasn't, but right now him leaving was the last thing I wanted. I knew my actions surprised us both when I curled up next to him. He stretched out on his back as I laid my head against his chest. When he started running his fingers through my hair, I tried to ignore how good it felt. How right it felt.

We ended up staying that way the entire night. I was the one who woke up first. At first, I was completely shocked and surprised when I found myself wrapped in Ollie's strong and warm embrace. He was sleeping soundly beside me with his blond hair dropping over his face.