Moira (SuperMazeWolf) (Newtmas)

Epilogue part 1

Warning: SMUT

*Newt*

Sam and Dean came by to talk to Tommy right when we got home. 

While Tommy was talking with them, I couldn't bring myself to tell the others that I got my memories back. I don't know if it's out of selfishness or protection. I mean how do we know if they'll even get their memories back?

We're not trying to make it a habit of getting knocked around hard enough to jog lost memories. I guess maybe Cas would know more, but that is to think about later. Convincing them Angels are real is a hard task. 

But I think I just want to be alone with Tommy now. To process everything.  To tell him. 

Once Tommy was done speaking with his brothers, I dragged him by the hand to our room and into our bathroom shutting both doors behind us. 

"Newt?"

"Shower with me? I need to feel you. Make sure you're here."

"Of course."

Standing under the spray Tommy just held me. Kissing my neck causing me to tilt my head back leaning into him, but also giving him more access. He took the invitation while also increasing the intensity/pressure of his kisses. I shut my eyes blocking out all other senses just focusing on Tommy and his touch. 

*Thomas*

Newt was shaken up after the encounter in the motel. To the point that once we got home and the others started asking questions, he ignored them. Just clung to me taking me to a quieter area. 

Our bathroom. 

"Newt?"

Something happened. His flashback maybe?
"Shower with me? I need to feel you. Make sure you're here." 

Make sure I'm real. I know that feeling. 

"Of course." I softly spoke. 

As we stood under the spray, I held him close. Feeling him relax against me. I started kissing his neck as the warm water ran over our skin. He tilted his head back against my shoulder, trusting me to hold him up while also giving me more access. So I started pressing harder kisses to his skin. Bruising ones. Maybe adding teeth here and there. 

"Tommy." he breathed out. 

He needs me.

I moved us, crowding him against the wall. He blinked up at me. Eyes blown wide. 

"You with me?" 

"Always," he said.

I surged forward kissing him. He kissed back, mouth falling slack as I pressed up against him.

I moved to kiss him down his neck, over his chest. Paying special attention to his nipples getting hitched moans for my efforts. 

As I kept going lower I gripped his hips tight enough to get bruises later. I lifted him up against the wall, legs around my waist. 

"Tommy," he moaned wiggling. 

"More?" I asked nipping at his chin. 

"Please."

"How do you want to do this?"

This is for him. He wants to feel me. Make sure I'm real. 

"I want to feel everything. Pain. Stretch. You. Fast."

He continued to babble getting impatient. So I pulled him down slightly and slammed into him effectively shutting him up. 

We haven't done this in a while, not enough time to ourselves. Always fighting for our lives. I doubt either of us will last long. 

I sped up periodically, pulling him back down when I pushed him too far up the wall. 

His hands have stopped grappling for purchase on the slick wall and instead, he is gripping my hair. Tugging on it when it feels good. When I push in a little harder.

When I hit his prostate dead on, I make sure to look up to see the pure bliss on his face. 

Eyes closed. 

Head tilted back showing the stretch of his neck, the hickies starting to form in a scattered pattern over the wet skin. 

Mouth partly open allowing his sweet noises to escape. 

His chest heaving trying to get in enough oxygen. 

He's close. I sped up though my rhythm was stuttering because I was close too. 

"Tommy!" he groaned pulling my head to him as he came. 

Splattering over my torso. 
He tightened around me and I couldn't hold out any longer. 

I filled him up. 

Once we calmed down, I slowly brought Newt back to the ground and under the spray so we could actually shower this time. 

"Newt," I whispered as I began washing his hair. 

I glanced at his face seeing tears. 

"Newt, what's wrong?"

He brought his hand up to my chest curling it against my skin. 

"Two things happened at the motel." 

A beat. He's trying to collect his thoughts. 

"Cas healed me." 

"I know." 

"NO. He healed all of me."

"Your leg," I said in realization. 

"Yeah."

"And?" 

He put his head on my chest so I wrapped my arms around him. Just holding him. 

*Newt* (Trigger Warning: mentions of rape, abuse, and suicide/attempted suicide)

"And?" 

Now to tell him the hard part. But he deserves to know. I know his past. The Gladers all know his past. 

I put my head on his chest not wanting to look at his face when I tell him. 

Tommy curled around me, giving me support. Waiting for me to speak instead of pressuring me. One of the reasons why I love him. 

"I got my memories back." 

"When Cas healed you?"

"Actually when that Scott shank was yanking me around." 

"Okay." 

He understands, but he's not forcing me to share what I remember even though he knows how much it affected me. 

"My father was an abusive shank. Beat my older sister and I. Our mother just yelled at him. My sister, Clara, basically took care of me. Raised me. Comforted me. When I was 9....."

My breath hitched and Tommy pulled me closer to him. Tightening his hold on me. 

"When I was 9, I found Clara crying in the corner of her room. She told me that not only did our father beat her... he raped her too. The last time he did, she ended up pregnant. She told me that she couldn't continue this life. She had given up."  

Another beat. Another breath. 

"When in the maze, that first year, I was a runner. One of the days we tried climbing to the top of the walls to see if we could find a way out and Minho watched me try to take my own life. I heard Clara's words as I went to jump. "Don't be like me, Newt. Don't give up." And by the time I had registered the words to question my actions I had run out of wall."

"Oh, Newt," Tommy muttered into my hair. 

By now the water had run cold, but I didn't care. I was crying. Fully processing the loss of my sister again. About not listening to her words. 

-----------------------------------------------------

Thomas had convinced me to take a nap after our shower, but now we're back out with the Gladers. Time to explain our encounter without the actual details. That's reserved for Tommy's knowledge only.