You're mine (DISCONTINUED)(?)

Chapter 18

Idk guys were gonna try
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(Espresso's pov): I'm not exactly sure how long I've been in Madeleine's embrace, but I have my reasons to believe it's been two hours. I haven't really been sleeping, nor have I actually tried to close my eyes and forget about the world for a few hours. I've just been..lying here. Cozy in the warmth I'm given. I continue to slip into a half-asleep daze every now and then, feeling my eyelids flutter yet not fully close. It's a weird feeling, but not an unwelcome one.

I felt his hand reach up to soothingly rub my left ear as I slowly purred. "How are you feeling?" He gently asked. "Better." "Yeah?" "Yeah.." I mumbled, and I could feel his smile. "Good." We sat in silence for a minute or two before, "Do you want to watch something?" He asked, motioning to the TV. mounted on my wall. "Hmm? Oh, sure." He grabbed the remote and turned it on to some random channel, casually tossing the remote someplace else. I wasn't sure how long we'd been mindlessly watching whatever the fuck was on, but it caught my attention when it loudly beeped and a news broadcast flashed into the screen. The bottom of it had a long red strip that said: EMERGENCY NEWS over and over again. "We formally apologize for this interruption, but—" The man's voice was a blur to me, something easy to ignore. I yawned and curled my tail around my thigh, starting to give in to sleep. "—and we are here to warn you of the criminality close to your area! Today in ___ square, criminal Grapefruit was caught stalking by two young woman, Frappuccino and Cymbidium. The two stated they were on their way home when they saw a figure in a tree looking into someone's window, and she was arrested on the spot." Why the hell is this an emergency? People can watch this if they want to. "As police tries to restrain her, Grapefruit showed hostility and fought their advances." I slowly sat up with wide eyes. "She escaped her arrest by biting a cops finger off and stealing that cop's taser, using that against the other cops present.  Officer Raisin is being treated in the hospital as of now, and so are any other officers who were harmed. As for Grapefruit, she had succeeded her escape and by witness has run into the woods and disappeared. Searches for her are prominent, but there aren't any traces any of her. We ask you all to be safe from the deranged stalker and criminal." I stared at the TV. as it paneled to some cop in a hospital bed talking about how she acted, but it all flew over my head as I stayed still with dread.

"You've got to be fucking kidding." Madeleine whispered. I heard stomping coming up the stairs, the door to my room slamming against the wall. "Did you hear??" Latte asked, panting in horror. She took one look at my face and realized I did. "She escaped! How the fuck did she escape!? What kind of cruel world do we live in?!" She cried, hunching over while tugging at her ears, letting out sobs of agony. Raspberry slowly got her to stand upright, hugging her and rubbing her back. "She's a fucking savage!" Raspberry said, sounding out of breath. I sat back with the same face from before, expression never changing. "Ess?" Madeleine touched my shoulder, and I jolted up and scratched the back of his hand before gasping. "I—" My head was spinning. I can't see. I don't want to see anymore-somebody help me—

Despite all of that, the gnarly scratch I gave him, Madeleine wrapped his arms around me, leaning me back onto his body. "Shh, calm, Espresso. It's going to be okay, I'm right here with you." He whispered, and I finally allowed myself to cry. Cry my heart out because my needed victory was fake. Just something to get my hopes up. Just so the world could tear me down like it loves to do. That's all it does; build you up until you're onto of everything, then knock you down like you're worth nothing. The world isn't a fucking rollercoaster, it's a long, dark tunnel. You hold your hands out in the pitch black and walk the straight line of path. Then it turns all the sudden, but you couldn't see it, so you bump into and fall. And it keeps happening when you least expect it. Then it starts to ascend, and you climb that damned hill with struggle until you're at the top. It continues all the way up there for a while, but then you trip in the dark, and now you're tumbling down the hill. Back at rock bottom.

Life isn't a rollercoaster because you can see the ups and downs on it. In the tunnel, you can't see anything. Your brain keeps tricking itself and acts like it sees light, but it never comes closer. It stays the same distance away from you, no matter how far you walk.

I hate the fucking tunnel. I want out. I want to scratch my way out with my claws, but I always end up on a different path in the same fucking tunnel. "I can't fucking do this anymore..!" I mumbled between cries. "Yes, you can. You have for all of these years, so why stop now? You were alone back then, and now you're not. So why give up when you finally have an advantage?" "You don't understand! I'm tired of running! I'm tired of crying because I saw her face in my memory!" I yelled, sitting up and throwing a pillow across the room. I'm acting childish, just stop making a fool of yourself. I took a deep breath and fell back to my hitched sobs. It's pathetic, and I can't even do anything about it. I thought my struggles were over, but as it turns out, they had just fucking begun.
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Uhhhhh

Hi guys!!! Long time no see...!
Okay but seriously it's been waaaaay too long

I guess I got bored and decided to try and continue this story, but again, no promises! I'm going to try and finish it, and yeah! I'm also pretty sure this entire story is OOC but wtv I can't control that anymore the damage is already done. Anyway, we've all grown up and I'm sure that my stories won't be as popular anymore, even as much as I miss it. I miss all of you and all the comments J used to get, how they would make me laugh my ass off. Now it's in the past, and I miss it. I miss writing CRK fanfics. I miss posting every day, even if my writing sucked back then. I miss what I used to be, but I've grown up, and so have you. To all those who are reading this, thank you for sticking around for so long. You all were my fucking joy and I remember loving to respond and reply to as many people as I could. I might not be what J used to be, but I'm still here now.

I'm aware no one is going to see this, and I know I can't light that flame that already burnt out so long ago, but I wish I could. I want to try posting again, so again, I want to thank everyone who came along with this absolutely excruciating journey with me.