Complicatus
Complicated
The night before Friday, his angel seemed distracted.
- Angel? - Jungkook whispered just to be heard above the sound of piano music from one of the vinyls he and his father had bought. The gentle breeze of the night filtered in through the small opening of the window above his bed. Unlike the window in front of his desk, facing the woods, this one was easiest to work with.
His angel was sitting beside him with his back against the headboard just like him. His eyes, however, were not on the notebook Jungkook held in his hands. He'd been telling him about his reasoning behind wanting to buy a piano, but it seemed he was too preoccupied with something else to have heard everything he said. Or even to have noticed he'd just called his name.
- Angel? - He asked, a little louder, and straightened away from the headboard so he could catch his eyes.
At once, his angel blinked and looked at him with eyes wide and, immediately, apologetic.
- What is it? - Jungkook asked gently as he closed his notebook and left it on his nightstand.
"Nothing." He tried to smile it off. But Jungkook stayed put. Slowly, the fake little smile faded away. "Sorry, I'm not meaning to lie to you. But... there really was nothing. Nothing happened today."
Jungkook frowned at the look of concern in his angel's eyes. Gently so he wouldn't go through him, he moved closer to his side. Even when he didn't feel a body sitting beside him, the sight of his angel's shoulder so close to his was enough to warm him up. But no tightness came to his stomach when his angel looked displeased.
- Should something have happened? - He asked.
His angel looked away as he thought. His lips were pursed as his eyebrows tensed up, yet he looked unsure.
"I don't know. I just... feel like... something's off. With us."
Jungkook frowned and the vinyl stopped playing. Taking his time to think as he stood to turn off the record player, he finally realized his angel didn't mean the pair of them when he said it. Once the radio was on with soft instrumental music, he sat back down beside him, as close as he could.
- Your friends? - Jungkook's worry spiked even more when his angel nodded.
"Yes. Aloisia is more displeased with me than the rest as of late. She gets angry when I get a new injury. And then Luz gets angry with her, Bronimir gets angry with Luz, Maniai gets angry with Bronimir, Aloisia gets angry with Maniai, and Ylva is angry with everyone. All the while, I'm just there." His eyes drifted off and he deflated until he looked tired. "I can feel them all. That's why I can't fight back. With just one word, I could break their heart and, with it, our bond. I fear what that might bring. I enjoy their company, I'm grateful for their friendship, trust, care; everything. But what if, as we grow, we come to realize, we weren't meant to last? What would the grown-ups think about it? My friends were assigned to me, so... I also feel like I couldn't simply finish our friendship. But then, what type of friends are we? Is this even real anymore? Do they actually love me?"
- Couldn't you feel it if they didn't? - Jungkook cut in, desperate to stop the spiraling he was witnessing.
"Love is complicated." His angel continued without looking at him. "They could love the idea of me, the uniqueness of me, or a part of me." He shrugged. "I don't know what has me so worried, really. Is it not knowing whether they actually love me? Is it not knowing if their love is running out? I've been getting better physically and mentally, things don't scare me as easily as before and most injuries are not enough to keep me incapacitated so it can't be that they think I'm a burden. But no, that's not it. The problem always starts with Aloisia. So why am I feeling like there's something off with all of us? What am I missing?"
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𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐔𝐒 [𝐓𝐊]
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