𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐔𝐒 [𝐓𝐊]

Chapter 30

Consequentia

Consequences

His parents tried asking him what was wrong, why he'd run that way, but he wouldn't tell them. He wouldn't even lie. All he told them was that their love was the only thing keeping him together through a hard day. Afterward, they stopped asking and continued with their dinner, even when the tension in the room was like another person looking down on them.

He knew they were worried for more than the sight of him crying, but he couldn't bring himself to fabricate a lie. Tiredness clung to him like a straight jacket and guilt was so tight around his throat that he could barely swallow down his supper. He was being a hypocrite for keeping secrets when he always reminded them not to do it to him. But there was too much going on at the same time and only so much space in his chest to compartmentalize the pain of each thought.

Once dinner was over, he kissed and hugged them goodnight, told them he would go to sleep immediately, and left the dining room. A little voice in his head told him they would talk about him the moment he closed the door and he tightened his jaw. Why was his brain so determined to make him feel miserable at that very moment?

But maybe... the feelings weren't all his own.

Rushing to his room, he closed the door and locked it for the first time in his life. Then, he waited, looking around his room. It felt different to have his door locked; lonely. He'd shut his parents out. It felt awful. But also necessary for what he planned to do next.

He waited, feeling his heart galloping in his chest and his body shivering with cold sweat, for the moment when his terror for his plans couldn't get any worse. And he let his thoughts wander south willingly.

Appearing in his angel's camp could kill him if he didn't do it right. Leaving the door locked meant that his parents wouldn't be able to bring him back if he drifted too far away. What if he died while they were asleep and didn't realize until morning that they had done nothing to help him? Would that kill them too? Was he willing to risk everything, his life, to give an apology? And the pain... the headache, the sickness that came afterward, the absolute horror of feeling like he was falling down a precipice again as he returned to his body, would it be worth it? It was also a school night and he'd taken days off already, what if Jack left another note?

¡That was why he was in this mess in the first place!

Jungkook rolled his eyes and his head and turned his body so his feet could start pacing relentlessly. His hands lifted to pull his hair as he walked from one point of the room to the other. The only noise filling his ears were his thoughts and the pumping of his frantic heart, the only light coming from his nightstand which he hadn't turned off before going to dinner. And dinner... his parents were definitely worried about him.

But they knew nothing. Nothing of his angel, the magic, the secret touches, and the feelings they shared. But they also didn't know about Jack, his problems, his need to help him, and the notes... the hug. For some reason hugging Jack was different than hugging his angel. Jack and he came from the same culture with the same laws and rules. Even if he and his father couldn't develop the mental illness everyone else calls HMD, that didn't mean they were exempt from the law. He'd broken the law, he'd hugged a boy.

Why was he figuring that out now!? Why hadn't he worried before!? A hug is just a hug, that's what he told Jack, so why was he worrying now!?

And why oh why did he say that to his angel...?

Jungkook stopped pacing and fell to his knees on the floor, his eyes brimming with tears, his hands dragging down to cover his face. Tired. He was so tired. For the first time in his life, he willingly wanted to scream his throat raw just to see if all the feelings weighing on him would finally leave.