THE CROWDED MARRIAGE

Chapter 23

Maeve Dominique Valencia
-present-

"The pen name PillowAnn is Filoah," Ivory confessed.

I am stupefied in my seat after hearing those words, like a glass of water that slipped into my fingers and shattered on the floor. We just got here in our temporary place for vacation, and that was the first thing he told me.

"W-What?"

"I know I'm in no position to tell you about her privacy because it's her secret, but you're my wife now even though we don't love each other. I know she will understand if she knows I told you about this."

Even though we don't love each other.

It's like he's slapping right into me, indirectly saying that he will never love me. I already knew. He will never love me. I know because I loved him even before.

Ivory has no emotion on his face, so I can't figure out what's on his mind unless I ask.

"But... why? Why are you telling me about this? You could've kept it to yourself."

Ivory shows his phone. "You posted my picture on your account; I'm sure that Filoah will see this. I don't want to create any misunderstandings in the future."

I keep my silence while staring at Ivory, who's now sitting on the single sofa.

"If you don't want to create misunderstandings, then why did you buy and read her book?"

I don't want to be selfish, but I couldn't help myself.

"I promise Filoah. Since I couldn't keep my promise that she would be the woman I would marry and be with for a lifetime, I want to keep my other promise to her of supporting her in what she is passionate about... and that's writing. And to be honest, I have a collection of her books and read them all. So if you see me buying, holding, and reading her books... that's just me keeping my promise to a woman who's been with me for five years."

I tried my best to keep my stoic face. Ivory is staring at me like he's reading me.

It was one of the rare times that he spoke longer... and now he did, but it was because of another woman.

"You'll understand me, right?" he even added.

I know he's not mine, but I'm hurt.

Naiintindihan ko siya, pero may kung anong sakit na kumurot sa puso ko.

I tried to smile for him to think that it was fine and I was okay.

"Of course. I'm sorry if I posted your picture. I should've asked first. Baka magtaka siya..."

I couldn't bring myself to speak her name now, baka tuluyang lumabas and totoong nararamandaman ko.

"It's okay. Filoah knows my promise to her. She would understand; that's the kind of woman she is," Ivory muttered like only Filoah Anne Romero is the person he knows among everyone around him.

Pilit na ngumiti ako. Pero sa ilang buwang marriage namin ni Ivory... masasabi kong mabuting tao si Filoah.

After all, I was technically the one who just grabbed Ivory by forcing him into marriage, even though it was our parents' decision. Ginusto ko rin 'yon, so I am partly at fault for their breakup.

Isa pa, si Filoah and nakipaghiwalay kay Ivory nang malaman niyang ikasasal na ito sa akin. Never din siyang nanggulo sa buhay namin.

Kaya hindi ko magawang magalit.

At kahit nasasaktan ako sa mga sinabi ni Ivory ay hindi ko pa rin magawang magalit sa kaniya dahil naging totoo siya sa akin. Hindi niya iyon tinago sa akin.