THE CROWDED MARRIAGE

Book 1: Epilogue Part III

Ivory Kyson Mortimeroz
-Epilogue Part III-

Trigger warning: Read at your own risk.

Since my brother died, I haven't known who I am anymore. All my life, I've only been his replacement.

The day my brother died in my frail and small arms became the nightmare that never leaves me. That memory haunts me as I blame myself for being weak... for not being strong enough to carry him back to life.

If only... if only I hadn't entrusted the most important role in my brother's life to a young girl. If only I had been stronger—maybe then, Kuya Kyron would still be alive today.

There was always a comparison between me and kuya Kyron, but to me, my brother was everything. He was the only one who ever noticed me, the only one who loved me. I didn't care if everyone else hated me, even my own family. As long as Kuya Kyron was by my side, I was the happiest person alive.

When he died, the love I used to know died with him.

I was forced to become what their favorite child had been. He was the one they adored, the one who could do no wrong. And when he was gone, when death stole him away, they turned their grief on me.

But I could never be him.

So when they missed him, when grief clawed at their hearts, they blamed me. They blamed me for his death, over and over, until the words etched themselves into deepest of my soul. Until one day, I believed them. I let myself believe I was the reason he died.

They never stopped. They kept blaming me, beating me, forcing me to wear his shadow until I forgot that once—long ago—I loved my brother with my whole heart. And that love slowly withered. I started to hate him.

I hated Kuya Kyron for leaving me behind. So every time I remembered why we had ended up in that situation, I felt another sting of betrayal. I began to hate Maeve too... for walking away, for abandoning me that day.

Everyone abandoned me.

They made me feel loved at first, but it was never enough to make them stay. It's always been like that.

I started to hate everyone. I don't even know if it was real hatred, or just something my heart hold to so no one could ever get close to me ever again.

Eventually, I grew numb to it. Hatred stopped burning... but it's stayed. And in this emptiness, I got used to it. Used to hating everyone.

But I couldn't help remembering the good memories of him, as I realized the love I felt for Maeve—love I had been denying to myself. Because... how could I still feel this way? I no longer knew what love was supposed to feel like.

"Ivory! Ikaw talagang pilyong bata ka!" my teacher called out, though there was a smile on her face.

"Teacher, I just sneaked him some food! He looked like he didn't have any baon, so I gave him mine!"

My teacher stood in front of me with her hands on her waist.

"Habang oras ng klase?"

My small lips pushed into a pout.

"But I heard his stomach growl. He looked gutom to me, so I opened my biscuit and shared it with him. I was gutom too, so I ate one as well."

Napailing-iling ang guro sa akin.

"Kahit ikaw ang may mali, nararason mo pa rin talaga, 'no?" Teacher bent down to my height and gently ruffled my hair.

"Okay, I'll let this pass because you helped your classmate. But next time, tell teacher first, alright? It's very kind of you to share, but you also need to respect the time for class. You have lunch or break time to eat. If you tell me first, I might allow anyone to eat during my class, as long as it's reasonable... like this, okay?"