if only..

chapter 1 - stupidity

quick note: this is my first fanfic on wattpad (i've done others on dif websites) i did 3rd pov for the first chapter but different chapters will have different pov's

TW: lots of misspells, sh mentions, swearing ect. be warned         

       life is so fragile.

one second, you are laying down with your dog and parrot

the next your fighting for life as a tube is sent down your mouth as blood tickles your forearm

I wonder why life can't be fair..

because well.. wheres the fun in that?

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       the warm sun tickled your face, the smell of street sweat and drugs filled your nose. God how you loved New York. Work was there, well lets not talk about work at this peaceful moment. The cold yet warm breeze brushed your s/c face, it made your nose wrinkle. You sigh as you walk to the train station, boring as normal. Your life was well, boring. Just fucking boring honestly. 

       nothing ever really interesting you, your job was harsh but it paid decent money, you were lonely with having no friends, and honestly if you went missing nobody would really notice except work. God why were you still thinking about work? Animating was hard, but the writing was worse. 4 years of college got you a job at a small animating studio and the boss was the WORSE. Like you would think they would be sweet and nice but no, it was satan's daughter IRL. 
          Everyday, you had to wake up at 5am, and start writing hard or breaking your wrists animating but it still paid. Honestly there were nights where you had to stay up or slice your wrists, half the time it was slicing your wrists. Fucking emo. But it calmed you, so that was a plus. 

    you walked down the stairs to the train station, where passed out people with beer bottles laid, homeless, and shady people. New York, what a place. But it was home, and you would never leave it, even though you were alone. Honestly you were going to start tinder, but the depression kicks in and tells you it's not worth it. You need help, like serious help. 

Wooosh 

the train stopped, the doors opened as you saw more people than average, you hated the train ride. Mostly because you hated people but also because it was awkward. Trying to snatch a seat without angering someone, trying to set your things down without someone trying to step on it.  Total animals, well we all are but who really cares anymore? you know what? who gives a fu-

"hey um" a purple hooded figure spoke as they tried to sit next to you, you couldn't really see their face, or skin, or any part of their body that wasn't covered in clothes. Weirdo.

"oh yeah sure, sorry" you say as you move your backpack, surprisingly, your backpack was purple too. 

         You pull out your phone, because your not a fucking weirdo and wanting to start convo with a stranger on the train. Worst place ever. You go on some news articles, even though people called you old for that, you still liked knowing what was going on in the world. Oh remember that guy sitting next to you? yeah he's watching you, like, staring at you. 

       you turn to him, smiling awkwardly. "um- can you not?" you ask, he quickly turns his head and brings out a high tech phone, it didn't even look like the new ones but NEWER. Like a futuristic phone. Again weirdo, probs was some lone wolf who only looked at hentai and wished people liked them even though they never interacted, ever.