if only..

chapter 2 - insanity

TW: swearing a lot. Uh sensitive topics 

Note: yo, im doing a dif POV, this will probably be the same pov all the time now so don't worry. Also, I might do one-shots so reqs might be open soon. Please be nice, ik i suck at writting >_< also when any character texts, they will have an emoji next 2 their name. Just so it won't be confusing lol T_T

   

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         yawn ugh why am I so tired today? I stretch my legs as I stumble out of my bed- no mattress and get up. Rubbing my eyes as I crawl over to get my pets their food. Ugh, i'm out. Guess they get my leftovers, its fine anyway i'm getting plenty of pizza tonight. 

        "Jacob!" I called my pet lab "Suzzy!" I call for my parrot as I leave out some salad that hasn't gone bad.. yet.. I walk over to my bathroom, the dirty sink, the shower water was a shade of water and brown. I looked in my cracked mirror, my eye bags looked darker than normal. Ugh, am I going to have to wear makeup? boo.. 

           I stretch out my bags, noticing the dark purple under my eyes. I take an almost broken brush and tangle it with my h/c hair. My locks twirl with the brush and finally my twisted and mangled hair was soft, at least. I smelled a bit, but the shower would only make my stench worse.  I took some deodorant put it in my pits, I grabbed some perfume and sprayed some on me. I smelled nice, looked decent, except for the fact I was still in my PJ's. 

         I groaned and walked over to the very few clothes that looked nice. I decided to pick out some top I stole that was baby blue and was kind of a crop top, and some jorts that I got from Christmas when I had a friend. I put on some bows, I loved bows for some reason and I didn't know what that reason was. I put on some gold necklace that I found on the side of the road with the words "whore 4 u" i don't know if it felt right. 

     I put on my converse, emo as fuck I know. And I look at the time

                              1 pm

          damn I am ready already? I have like, 4 HOURS! ugh, why am I so stressed? I mean, this is the first time a guy wants to hang out with me, let alone anyone who wants to hang out with me. But than again, i've never seen his face or the fake ass photos he's sent me. UGH SHUT UP Y/N! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!

   wow your losing it.

           You sigh as you flop onto your couch, nothing to really do so why not catch up on some Jupiter Jim? The movie franchise was a huge part of my shitty childhood, and helped me get through hell. I pull out my phone, shit. I cracked it again, now there was a huge slit across the screen maybe I should.. no.. no fresh cuts before you see Donnie. Don't want to look like a depressed mother fucker.. even though that's what I am.

"ugh" I groan as I type in my password and go to prime video, I sigh as I dig my face into the crusty couch but only keep my eyes out so I can see my phone. I press on "Jupiter Jim Sails  the seven galaxies" It was my favorite movie anyway, why not re-watch my Hyperfixation? 

      I yawn, the movie was over. I smiled a bit, I loved that movie a lot. I dare to say it was the best Jupiter Jim movie there is. I check the time

SHIT! 

                            4:30 PM !! FUCK! 

         I rush out, grabbing my shoes, how could I be so stupid? The movie was 3 hours long, 3 HOURS!! DAMMIT Y/N! Ugh no time to hate on yourself, god cutting myself right now is all I need but no time! I slam the door to my small apartment, as I rush down the stairs not daring to wave to the neighbors. Well its not like they would even wave to me anyway.