You and only you

19.

Over the next few weeks, as Christmas creeped up, as well as my decision on where I would be spending it needed to be made, Leah and I grew closer and closer.

She came around to my house most evening, and stayed the odd night. Her relationship with Arthur and Nelly was growing ever stronger and it was something that made my heart warm. We went to most of her games, acting as some of her best cheerleaders, well, Arthur and Nelly did, and spent some time with her teammates afterwards.

The last few weeks have been amazing but on the evening Leah didn't come over, or the night she went home, when I was left alone with my thoughts were hard. Having mixed feeling about what to do at Christmas wasn't something I ever thought would be a problem, but at this moment in time it was a fight between me as an individual, and doing what I want, and me as a mother, and doing what would benefit my kids. Tonight was one of those nights, except something was different, Leah was here.

The two of us cuddled up on the sofa, trying to get impossibly closer to each other, her rambling on about her day of training with me giving one word answers. I was distant, my mind elsewhere. I tried my best to not let her see this, but she had noticed, much to my dismay.

"You ok" she asked. I look up to see those piercing blue eyed gleaming down at me. It was safe to say that over the last few weeks my feelings for Leah had only grown stronger. I couldn't get enough of her company. We had been on a handful of dates, cinema trips, dinners, and nights out with her teammates, and we had both agreed that our feelings are mutual but we don't want to rush anything so were just going to go with the flow.

"Yeah" I try my best to give her a reassuring smile but she didn't buy it

"You can tell me you know" she spoke whilst kissing my head gently

"I'm fine I promise"

"Is it about Christmas" she asks, knowing exactly what was wrong but not wanting to push me to speak about it. I pull out of her embrace slightly, turning my body to face her and laying the side of my head against that back of the sofa, with her hands placed firmly on my leg to let me know she's listening.

"I just don't know what to do, I mean realistically I know I should go home, but again, if I go home I know I then have to stay for new years and that just makes it so much harder to leave again and not just for me but for them as well" I say referring to Arthur and Nelly

"Do you want comfort or a solution" she says so calmly while rubbing her thumb over my knee

"What" I smile slightly at her

"Do you want comfort or do you want me to give you solutions"

"I, I don't know....both" I say confused

"Well as for solutions, you spend Christmas here, with me, and then you go home for new years"

"Leah I'm not ruining your family's Christmas"

"How would you be ruining it"

"Lee you always say how tight knit your family is and how much you love Christmas, I'm not just going to rock up with two kids and involve myself"

"That's not how it is, you know that"

"Plus that would mean you having to tell your whole family about us. Do any of them know"

"I've told my mum a little bit but not much, and all we have to say is that we're friends and that you've decided to spend Christmas here but I didn't want you to be on your own so I invited you over" she says trying to convince me

"I don't know lee, I can't just show up unannounced"

"So I'll speak to my mum, see what she says, well I know what she'll say, and then if everyone agrees I'll just tell everyone else that I'm bringing a friend for Christmas"