Thirty Eight

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ᴏᴍɴɪꜱᴄɪᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴏᴠ
ᴀ ꜰᴇᴡ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ
ᴀᴛʟᴀɴᴛᴀ, ɢᴇᴏʀɢɪᴀ

Lying in bed, Carter couldn't seem to find herself being able to sleep. At this point, it wasn't a surprise considering the fact that she hasn't been sleeping the past few days. The room was dark only allowing a small form of light from the moon shining in through the curtains.

It was a Friday night and with Isaiah gone by one of his basketball friends house, it left her home alone for the weekend.

Usually it never bothered her but with all of the drama going on in her life, she felt more alone than ever.

Only wearing some basketball shorts and sports bra, she was laying out in her bed with the fan on and a blunt in her hand. It was crazy how she only smoked while being out or partying with her homies to her now smoking everyday.

Well lately.

Smoking, drinking, showering, and sleeping.

She can't remember the last time she cooked a good meal. She's been letting Isaiah order food in, which he didn't mind at all.

She just didn't have the energy to cook. She didn't have the energy to barely do anything really. The liquor has been doing its job of having her feel numb to the world and reality.

But not her thoughts.

The constant thoughts she had running through her mind all day was wild. It led to her either staring at the wall or crying her eyes out.

She felt truly all over the place but she knew it wasn't anyone's fault but her owns. She knew her own fears of being hurt was making her hold out on the best things she ever felt, the best thing she seen, and most importantly one the best human beings she ever met.

Kirah.

Her and Kirah's conversation at her penthouse a few days ago replayed over and over in her head. Each moment, each word, each facial expression couldn't leave her head.

She never thought she'll be the cause to make Kirah feel that hurt or say such things as in aborting their baby.

She couldn't blame her though. She knew if she was in her shoes she would've felt the same way.

She didn't think her saying she loved Kirah back would cause such big problem between them. Kirah never showed any signs that it had hurt her feelings when she didn't say it back.

She assumed that Kirah knew she needed more time to say it.

But who was Carter kidding? She knew she didn't need more time. She knew she cared about Kirah but even more that she loved her too.

The truth is that she loved Kirah way before she told her first in Wisconsin. She started to feel this way around the time Kirah started to feel it when she found out that her test results came back clean.

She could've easily drop Kirah and never speak to her again like nothing ever happened but she didn't. She cared for her and her feelings had already got too deep by then.

Their trip to Spain is what has really confirmed everything for her. Her being on a trip with another woman for the first time in five years- and she felt so at peace and happy. She had began to fall in love with Kirah at that moment.

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