YELLOW | yj x bg

☀︎ twelve.

—beomgyu

There's this empty biscuit box I keep on my desk. I write on chits regularly and tuck them in there. It serves as something I can take chits out of on a bad day and remember what happiness means. You won't believe when I tell you this, Yeonjun, you don't believe anything that indicates I like you.

I write things that I love on these chits- and you won't believe it but most of these things are about you. Things like, 'the way Yeonjun lights up my stormiest nights,' and 'Yeonjun with his irresistible laughter that makes me crack a smile,' and 'how he doesn't have a lot of free time but on the rare days that he does, he chooses to spend it with me.'

I could go on and on, Yeonjun, but I hope you never know how much I love you. It will only ruin your belief in me. You look at yourself as someone who's never going to accomplish his dreams, as the guy who's not really memorable save for his occasional remarks that make me laugh, as the detestfyl kid in class who reminds the teacher to give homework.

But you're so much more than all this. You're my best friend, you're my soulmate, you're my family and everything in between. It's only been 3 years since we met but that's 1095 days, well enough time to make an impression on somebody. I love you so much my heart breaks in two.

I love the way you sometimes forget to tie your shoelaces because you're in such a hurry. I love the way you sit at the edge of a crowded bench just to make enough space for me to sit at lunchtime. I love how you run freely on grass fields as if it's the only time you've ever felt free, and who knows, perhaps it is. I love how you're always trying to improve, aiming for perfection; even though to me you're already perfect.

To some people, these might only be small things. But this is what I'll truly remember you by. I hope you never forget me. But should the time come, I hope you look back on your teenage years and remember me as someone whose life you made ten times better. Remember this phase in your life as a colorful burst of light in a long, dark tunnel that's taking ages to cross.

Because I'll remember you. I'll remember the times we spent dark and stormy nights together and revealed our darkest secrets. I'll remember how your stories made me fall asleep at night, how you wanted to celebrate my birthday with me but I had to turn your invitation down. I'll remember how you didn't go to the field trip you'd been looking forward to and instead spent it with me.

It's funny how just someone's presence can make you feel paralyzed, electrified, and loved all at the same time. And you were it for me.

All I have now to ask is; have I done the same for you?