YELLOW | yj x bg

☀︎ thirty three.

—beomgyu

I never thought I could feel this amount of happiness on my 17th birthday.

I looked around me and it was as if I had come to a newfound realisation. I couldn't believe I had so many good friends by my side. I wish I could stay in this moment frozen forever.

What more could I ever ask for when I have them? I don't need anything that other teenagers today wish for: An amazing Ferrari, a trip to Disneyland, a staycation in some expensive hotel in Paris.

The happiness they've given me will never amount to anything any luxury has to offer. They're the ones who turned my lonely nights where I'd cry into my pillow, into nights where I couldn't stop giggling and thrashing around about the games we played at home.

I finally started to look forward to sleeping again, knowing they're going to appear in my dreams. Gone are the days of dark circles under my eyes and zombie-like complexion.

How did I chance upon such amazing four best friends? Was God so generous that He decided to send me something in place of what He'd taken away?

As long as I have them, I don't need anybody else.

But they don't deserve me.

Me; A boy who doesn't know how to control his own emotions and gets teary-eyed at the smallest of things. Now that I try to view myself from an outsider's perspective, I realise how tiring it must be for anyone to be around me.

They've put up with me so restlessly that I feel as though I'm interfering with the amazing time they'd be having if only my presence wasn't ruining it.

I scanned across the table at the scene unfolding in front of me: Taehyun pouring orange juice into the glasses, Soobin kneeling down by the DVD collection deciding with a keen eye on what movie we should watch, Hueningkai playing with his plushies like they're the only meaningful thing in this universe, Yeonjun sitting next to me and gazing up at me to see if i'm okay.

I love them so much, words cannot express it.

Taehyun with his determination who urges me to run after my dreams like there's no tomorrow, Hueningkai with his desperateness to become better, my enemies-to-friends relationship with Soobin, and Yeonjun's over-charismatic behaviour that makes me feel lucky to have him as a soulmate.

It was only when Taehyun shriked, "Beomgyu! Why are you crying all of a sudden?" Did I touch my cheeks and realise a few tears had fallen down.

But for some reason I couldn't stop smiling out of gratitude. What a weird mix of emotions: happiness and sadness.

Please, God. Grant me one more request and I'll do anything you ask of me, I'll gladly leave you alone.

Please, God—

Please don't let them leave me.