That Playgirl's Karma

🍷n i n e🍷

I don't know what went wrong. I just woke up not remembering anything. I was six years old that time... I woke up lying on a hospital bed, full of syringes attached to my body.

I can't remember anything, but there's only one thing left in me-hatred.

I started being stubborn with my dad. I refused everything they wanted for me. I became a headache to my father, a witch to my stepsister, and a monster to my stepmom.

At the age of sixteen, I decided to rebel, three nights or even a whole week without going home. Until finally, I chose to live alone, away from them, where they wouldn't see my existence.

That's when I started ruining others. I became a playgirl. I played with hearts. I felt happy hurting them, thinking it would lessen the pain I carried. But because of one incident... I realized the pain never left.

It only grew deeper, darker... heavier.

After all, I'm the one being blamed.

I became depressed. I didn't know who I could talk to. I didn't know who I could run to.

I was completely messed up.

Suddenly, I saw a light... a white ceiling... and a dextrose pierced into my skin.

"You're awake."

I turned my head to the side. A guy in black was sitting beside me.
Seconds later, a doctor came in and checked my eyes.

What does this mean...? I'm... alive?

"Azalea? Can you hear me?"

Binaling ko ang tingin sa lalaking katabi ko. Nararamdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko at hinimas-himas ito. Medyo malabo pa ang paningin ko kaya't hindi ko siya makita nang maayos, pero pamilyar ang boses niya.

"Felix...?"

Hinawi niya ang buhok sa mukha ko.
"Yes, it's me. Matulog ka muna. You still need more strength."

So, it was him.

Kusang pumikit ang mga mata ko at tuluyan nang nakatulog.
Hindi ko na alam kung ilang oras akong nahimbing, pero paggising ko, nandoon pa rin siya sa gilid ko, nakayuko at natutulog.

Anyway, how did I wake up here in the hospital? I thought I'd be in hell by now. But here I am... alive, breathing, lying on a hospital bed.

I cursed under my breath when I remembered what I did just to satisfy my desire to end it all.

Nagawa kong patayin ang sarili ko kahit labag iyon. Hindi man lang ako natakot.

I know I was drunk, but still... I can't believe I actually did those things.

Hinawi ko ang luhang kusang tumulo sa mata ko.
Napasinghot din ako dahil sa sipon, at nang pinunasan ko ito ay hindi sinasadyang magalaw si Felix kaya nagising siya.

Kinusot niya ang mga mata niya, at medyo nagulo ang kaniyang buhok.

"What are you feeling now?" he asked, giving me a worried look.

I nodded, avoiding his gaze.

I couldn't look at him. I felt the shame running down my spine.

"Azalea," tawag niya sa akin. Wala na akong nagawa kun'di tumingin sa kaniya.

Kumuha siya ng isang ponkan mula sa mesa at sinimulang balatan ito.

"I'm not in the position to ask you this but..." He paused, looked at me.

"I will listen."

Then he continued peeling the fruit.

But here I am... too broken to speak. His words kept echoing in my mind.

I felt a tear threatening to fall, but I fought it. I bit my lip just to stop it.

"You can cry, Azalea."

And that's when I broke. I burst out crying.

Using both of my palms, I tried to wipe away the tears, but they kept falling... and falling...

I didn't know what was wrong with me, but it was like his words had a switch.. when he said he'd listen-I broke. When he said I could cry-I cried.

Funny, how it seems.

After a while, my tears dried up.
I found myself chewing the ponkan he peeled earlier.

It was already 2 AM. Felix said he brought me to the hospital at around 11 PM and that I'd been here for hours because of the gas I inhaled.

Nasa loob siya ng banyo ngayon, naghuhugas ng kamay.
Gusto ko sanang tanungin pagbalik niya kung paano niya ako nahanap, hindi ko naman sinabi sa kaniya kung saan ako nakatira.

At higit sa lahat... paanong naligtas niya ako?

"Ang sabi ng doktor, pwede ka nang ma-discharge mamaya," ani Felix paglabas niya ng banyo.

Lumapit siya at inayos ang kumot ko sa paanan.

Maybe now is the time to ask.

I took a deep breath. "Felix?"

"Yes?"

"I... I didn't tell you where I live. So... how did you find me?"

Huminto siya sa ginagawa niya at kinuha ang cellphone mula sa kaniyang bag at nilapit niya ito sa akin.

"Here." He handed me his phone.

There was something like a radar on the screen.

What does this mean?

"I know this may sound weird, but no, I'm not a stalker or anything. When you called the number I gave you, your location automatically turned on. That's how I found you."

Wait... does that mean... he can locate me anywhere as long as I call him?

I nodded and gave the phone back then felt a sting of shame.

To be honest, I called him, then ignored him, then almost killed myself, and still, he came.

Ayos ka, Azalea.

"I'm so sorry. It was actually my intention to call you, but... I changed my mind. I turned it off without knowing I didn't end the call. I'm very sorry, Felix, for wasting your time on this... nonsense incident-"

But he cut me off.

"Nonsense?" His forehead creased. "Do you think what happened to you is nonsense?"

"Uhh... h-how should I put it...?"

"That incident is not nonsense, Azalea. It's a serious matter. And it's something we need to fight for."

Did he just say... we?

He meant it?

He stared straight into my eyes and gently held my hand.

Hundreds of questions raced through my mind but at the same time...

A feeling of existence suddenly filled me.

A feeling that someone actually... cared.

"I'll fight with you, Azalea."