That Playgirl's Karma

🍷t w e n t y - o n e🍷

Kasalukuyan akong nasa isang restaurant kasama si Shan, tinawagan niya ako kahapon, gusto niya raw magkita kami upang ikumusta ang isa't isa.

"As far as I remember, usual strawberry cake ang ino-order mo kapag kumakain tayo rito."

Napangiti ako nang maalala pa rin iyon ni Shan, nakakatawa dahil ako nga 'yung muntik nang makalimot.

"Nagbago na yata ang taste, mas masarap pala itong mocha."

"By the way, pasensya ka na pala noong nakaraan, masyado akong naging excited na puntahan si Migs sa airport kaya naiwan kita roon sa bar. Pagbalik ko, wala ka na. Nakauwi ka lang ba nun?"

Natigilan ako sa pagkain nang muling maalala ang mga nangyari ng gabing iyon. Sa totoo lang... kung sana ay nandoon si Shan, ay hindi mangyayari sa akin iyon. Pero hindi ko naman siya sinisisi, talagang nilapitan lang talaga ako ng karma ng mga panahong iyon.

"Azalea?"

Nabalik ako sa huwisyo nang kalabitin ako ni Shan sa balikat. Natulala pala ako at hindi napansing nagsasalita siya.

"Azalea, are you okay? You know that I'm here for you naman, 'di ba? You can talk to me and I will listen."

I am happy for Shan. He has been there for me since we were just in junior high. He was always there for me, to listen to whatever I said.

"Shan... to tell you honestly, something bad happened to me that night."

"W-What?"

Ikinuwento ko kay Shan ang mga nangyari, mula sa lalakeng nag-akma sa akin sa bar, sa pagkakakilala ko kay Felix na siyang tumulong sa akin, at sa kung ano pang sunod na mga nangyari.

"Oh my goodness, bakit hindi mo agad sinabi sa akin? We actually have CCTV around that area. Sana sinabi mo sa akin so I could've acted on it immediately. Don't worry about it, Azalea. Mamaya hahanapin ko agad ang footage na iyon and I'll send it to you right away."

Hindi ko inaasahang magiging malaking tulong pala si Shan sa mga nangyayari. I was just blinded by judgment, thinking maybe... he would judge me. Pero mali ako. He always understands me.

"Anyway, can I ask something?"

"Ano 'yun, Shan?"

"About the guy you mentioned earlier. What's his name again? Felix, right?"

"Oo, si Felix. Bakit, anong meron?"

"Hindi naman sa gumagawa ako ng ikakaisip mo, pero... sino ba si Felix? Bakit kusa ka niyang tinulungan? Do you owe him something? And also... is he trustworthy enough?"

Natigilan ako sa mga naging tanong ni Shan.

Sa lahat ng mga ginawa ni Felix para sa akin, ay ngayon ko lang napagtanto. I don't know him enough. I just know his name, his stepfather, and some light information but who he really is... remains unanswered.

"I'm not in the place to dictate who you're going to trust, Azalea. But as your longtime best friend, I am worried about you. I hope Felix is being real about his intentions."

Shan was right. There are still lots of questions as if I'm staring into a loophole and I did nothing to fill it with answers. I was being too complacent not to think about who he really is.

Why is he helping me?

Do I owe him something?

And what are his actual intentions?

Pabalik na ako sa condo, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang makakapag-isip ako ng ganito tungkol kay Felix. Pero tama rin naman si Shan bago ko lang nakilala si Felix at hindi ko pa siya masyadong kilala.

Kinuha ko ang aking phone sa bulsa nang may tumunog na notification doon. Talking about him he's the one who just texted me.

Felix:
I'm in front of your door. Sa tingin ko hindi ka pa kumakain, so I ordered chicken. Let's eat?

Based on how he texted me, it suffocates me now.

Sa mga nasabi niya ba sa akin, sa mga kabutihang pinapakita niya... totoo ba iyon? O nagpapanggap lang siya? Hindi ko alam kung alin ang totoo sa dalawa kaya nakakasakal na isipin kung nasaan sa dalawa ang kasagutan.

Nahagilap ko kaagad si Felix na nakaabang sa tapat ng pintuan ng unit ko. I didn't text him back. I don't know what to reply, my mind is occupied by the questions I want to ask him.

"Felix."

Based on his reaction, he didn't expect to see me outside.

"Oh, akala ko nasa loob ka. Saan ka galing?"

Even the simplest question he's asking is hard for me to answer now.

"May... binili lang sa labas."

"Ganoon ba? By the way, here..." sabay abot ni Felix ng isang plastic ng inorder niyang manok.

"Sa tingin ko hindi ka pa nagdi-dinner. Sabay na tayong kumain."

Even with how heavy I'm feeling about him right now, I ended up saying yes. Sabay kaming kumain pero naging tahimik lamang ako sa buong oras na iyon.

"I also bought an easy-to-cook pack. Nasa fridge ko inilagay. Kumain ka bago pumunta sa school."

Hearing him say those things to me makes me uncomfortable now. I really want to know if he's saying it truly from his heart.

"And also, mas mabuti yatang sunduin kita rito bukas para sabay na tayong pumunta sa school-" But I cut him off.

"No."

"Pardon?"

"I mean... kaya ko naman."

"Ganoon ba?"

"Oo, salamat."

"Are you really sure? Medyo malayo mula rito, at kailangan mo pang sumakay ng bus, Azalea."

Oh crap. I realized halos lagpas isang dosenang kilometro ang layo ng condo ko sa campus.

"T-Then I'm going to take the bus. I just decided to... be independent."

Tanging pagngiti lamang ang naisagot ni Felix sa akin. Sana hindi siya nanghinala.

Maya-maya lamang ay umalis na si Felix. The whole unit went quiet, it felt like this place is being haunted by different unsolved questions.

Sino ka ba talaga, Felix?

Kinabukasan ay pinanindigan ko talaga ang mga sinabi ko. I woke up early and realized... I can't do this for a year!

Iba kasi kapag nandito si Felix. I can wake up at seven in the morning, ready myself, and go. Nasanay na rin akong may dala siyang pagkain, so I have nothing to worry about kung walang laman ang tiyan ko pagpasok. But here I am... sitting near the bus window with a growling stomach. Nalimutan kong kumain dahil sa pagmamadali. Kahit maaga akong gumising, I ended up being late.

But this is for the best, my safety.