That Playgirl's Karma

🍷t w e n t y - f o u r🍷

Nagising ako at bumungad sa akin ang puting kisame. Ngayon, nandito ulit ako sa hospital, nakahiga at suot ang isang hospital gown.

"I'm glad you're awake."

Napalingon ako sa gilid nang kalalabas lamang ni Felix mula sa banyo, may dala siyang isang bowl ng mga prutas na hinugasan niya.

"Ilang oras akong nakatulog?"

"Half an hour."

"Ganoon ba...?"

Napahawak ako sa ulo ko nang makaramdam ng hapdi. May benda ako sa ulo at pati sa kaliwang kamay.

"Sabi ng doctor, mabuti na lang at hindi masyadong malaki ang naging sugat mo sa ulo. Ano nga pala ang tumama diyan, Azalea?"

Umupo si Felix sa may tabi, hinihintay ang sagot ko.

"I tried to push, trying to escape, pero natumba 'yung kahon kaya tumama ang ulo ko sa... kung anong bakal. Desperate to live, I guess?" Sinubukan kong ngitian ang mga nangyari dahil bakas sa mukha ni Felix ang pag-aalala. Ayokong makita iyon, okay naman ako, pero parang ang bigat ng iniisip niya.

"Azalea, I need to ask you something..."

Binaba ko ang kamay kong nakahawak sa ulo at tumingin sa kaniya.

"Ano 'yun, Felix?"

Binitiwan niya ang bowl at seryosong tumingin sa akin.

"Are you avoiding me?"

Isang tanong, isang sagot... pero hindi ko magawa. Sa tanong niya, biglang bumigat ang konsensyang dala ko.

"Azalea, answer my question. I may be desperate, I'm sorry, but I really need to know if you're avoiding me. Because I felt it... the way you talk so short, and the way you look away when I'm talking."

What he said felt like a bullet striking me straight in the head. His words left a mark of guilt-thinking he wouldn't notice, but there he was, expressing everything he felt.

"Y-Yes. I have been avoiding you these days, Felix."

Napayuko ako at hindi makatingin sa kaniya, parang sinampal ako ng hiya. Hindi ko siya kayang titigan.

"Kaya pala... and if I didn't check on you, if I didn't chase after you that time... I think I would've regretted it for the rest of my life."

Hindi ko inakalang sinundan niya pala ako noong oras na iyon. Naabutan niya sigurong wala na ako sa CR, at doon na siya nabahala. The worst part is... he looked for me around the campus the whole afternoon, just to find me crying, and on the verge of dying... if he hadn't been there.

"Sorry, I was being one-sided. Kusang humusga ako hindi ko man lang inisip ang mga posibleng mangyari. I know I was being selfish. I closed the doors on you without even letting you explain."

"If that's so, tell me everything. Ask me anything that makes your mind unsure. Azalea, there's nothing wrong with asking, so please... tell me what made you feel that way."

His voice softened, like he was ready to answer every questions. As if he was saying... he's not mad that I doubted him.

"Felix, I met you before... in a bar. You saved me again and again. That's how we became close. Pero kusa ko lang naramdaman na parang may mali. Kasi bakit naman ang isang tao ay handang tumulong sa isang estranghero nang paulit-ulit... nang walang kapalit?"

Nakatingin lang si Felix habang patuloy akong nagsasalita.

"Why would someone like you help me without even explaining the consequences? That made me conclude... that maybe you were up to something."

I don't want to hurt him, or make him feel that I don't trust him.

I just want to be sure that he's really... my ally.

"Felix... ano ba talaga ang intensyon mo sa akin? At... sino ka nga ba talaga?"

That made him stop.

Nawala ang seryoso niyang mukha, napalitan ng malambot na tingin. Kusang nangyari iyon, kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung anong ibig sabihin ng pagbago ng emosyon niya.

Should I continue? Parang hindi ko na napapalinaw ang mga sinasabi ko.

Parang sinasabi ko lang sa kaniya na, sa loob ng ilang buwang magkasama kami, may pagdududa pa rin ako sa kaniya.

I don't think this is right. I should stop.

"N-No. I shouldn't be asking you those questions. I'm sorry, I'm just overthinking-"

But he cut me off.

"So you really don't remember me?"

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya.

What is he trying to say?

"F-Felix... I don't understand. O-Of course I remember you. You're the Felix I met a month ago, the one who always saves me when I'm in danger-"

"No. I'm talking about the Felix from thirteen years ago. The Felix you knew... since you were five years old."

"W-What?" Napatawa ako ng pilit, confused. Five years old? Thirteen years ago? Anong pinagsasasabi niya?

"Y-You know what, we better stop this, Felix."

"Nagka-amnesia ka."

Tuluyan akong natigilan sa sinabi niya.

Suddenly, it felt like everything he said was connected to the pieces I've been struggling to understand.

Wala ni isa ang nagsabi sa akin.

Even my dad.

I just remembered waking up, bandages on my head and the memory of that current day.

I was five, but I don't remember anything before the accident. I forgot the people, the places, and even the events.

Pinagwalang-bahala ko iyon noon. Akala ko baka wala lang talagang mahalagang nangyari bago ang aksidente.

I grew up thinking that.

But hearing what Felix said... it struck me.

There are stories I'm not aware of... dark secrets that were left crumpled and memories I can't unlock.

Yet... there's someone here who can.

Kusang gumalaw ang aking mga kamay para hawakan ang kamay ni Felix. Tumitig ako sa kaniyang mga mata, nandoon pa rin ang lambot, at tila sumisigaw na gusto na niyang sabihin ang lahat-lahat.

"Felix... tell me what happened before. Tell me everything."