Broken Soldiers | Bucky Barnes x OC

80. the end of the line

Hailey,

If you're reading this then it means I'm gone. I knew after Natasha's death that I would take the first chance I got to sacrifice myself. I guess you could say I'm giving up. I'm not as strong as you, Hailey. You were strong enough to survive Bucky's death but Natasha's is the last straw for me. My time here is done, I gave enough.

I'm sorry to do this to you, I probably wouldn't have if I wasn't sure Bucky was coming back. But you won't be alone anymore now, you'll have your James back and your brother. But me, I can't live in a world where Natasha doesn't live in. It was painful enough to know for a day that kind of world and I know I never want to live in it.

Fighting battles besides you and getting to share a small part of your life has certainly been one of the greatest honors of my entire life and you have always been teasing me that my life was too long so you know what I'm saying is a great deal. You're one of the best persons I know, Hailey. You're so strong and passionate, you have been through things that most people wouldn't even have nightmares of but I've always known you to try to smile. I always admired you and took you as a huge role model.

I know that Natasha's death and mine being only a day apart will be hard on you and I beg you to forgive me for it. I just don't have the strength anymore. This is probably the most selfish thing I will ever do and I already blame myself for it.

Please ask Bucky to forgive me too. He has a letter, too. Give it to him and tell him to read it whenever he's ready. I understand if he's angry at me. God knows we've had so little time together and I prayed every day that we would get more time but unfortunately that doesn't happen. Not in this universe, at least.

I would do anything to bring back Natasha and tell her things I didn't get to because I didn't know our time was running out. But you do. And you get another chance at this. Take it and make the best of it. Even if you have little time. Don't waste time. Do things you've always dreamt about because now you get to do them with the love of your life. And trust me, there is nothing better than getting a change at a life with the love your life. Natasha and I got so close. You and Bucky get that chance now.

I know your chances of surviving long are very small but I still pray everyday and probably will keep praying when I get up there. You deserve a long and happy life, Hailey. I don't know someone who deserves it as much as you do.

So every day you get, live it to the fullest. Don't go with regrets or a heart full of sorrow. Everyone should go with a smile on their face. That didn't happen for me, that's okay. I just hope it does happen for you. Because, once again, you deserve it. You don't believe that because you don't think you're a good person but you are. You definitely are.

I love you Hailey and don't you dare forget that
with love, your favorite Avenger

Hailey closed Steve's letter and slowly put it back on her nightstand. She swallowed, trying really hard not to cry again. Her eyes were red and puffy, she hadn't stopped crying for three days straight.

Three days, just the time to organize Steve's funeral. It hadn't been announced publicly to the world but Tony assured Hailey he would take care of everything and that her and Bucky wouldn't have to worry about anything.

In his letter, Steve mentioned how sorry he was for leaving her and how much he already blamed himself for it. She wished she could tell him she wasn't angry at him at all. There was so much she would've wanted to say to him.

A knock on the door made her slightly jump. She turned around and managed to smile a little when she saw Bucky.

"Hey" he softly said before walking over to her, "You read it again?"