I Let Myself Hope

8 ● Jesper ● 23.07.2027

July 23rd, 2027

Jesper, New York

I had a day off today and since I didn't really have anything to do, I decided to visit Sam and Joey. I haven't told anyone about Yohan's newly emerged tumor and the surgery and I figured Sam would be the best person to tell, since she wouldn't be as annoying as Jisoo or as confused as Jia. I decided to delay the conversation with those two for a different day, because I didn't feel like talking to them just yet. Besides, I was really curious about Sam's opinion.

Even though she was no longer Yohan's wife, she was still a person dear to his heart, she was a mother of his kid and he always valued her opinion, so I decided to seek her advice, hoping that she would tell me something I'd want to hear, that she would help me make the decision about the surgery.

It was really weird that I was seeking advice from Samantha of all people. It was even weirder that we were friends. To be honest, I've never really liked her. It's not like she was a bad person or something, she wasn't, I just wasn't a fan of her in the past. She was honestly a sweetheart but I simply loathed her, because she took Yohan away from me in high school.

Some may think that I'm actually a bad person for sleeping with her boyfriend, but I think Yohan was actually the biggest idiot of all, for getting a girlfriend. I was deeply in love with him back then and it was obvious that I'd never want to stop seeing him, even if he had a girlfriend, but Yohan didn't think it was a problem. I was sleeping with my best friend while he had a girlfriend, so what? I didn't mind it, I knew about everything. Sam though? She had no idea that Yohan was cheating on her and I kind of feel bad for her now, that Yohan was lying to her. I didn't mind it back then, but now I know it was fucked up. The point is, she was in a relationship with my man, while I was simply his fuck buddy. That's what hurt the most. That's why I hated her.

"Jesper! This is a surprise," the door to their house, Yohan's old house, was opened by Joey. He was already seventeen and he's grown so much ever since Yohan last saw him. He may have looked like a basic Asian kid when he was younger, but when he was growing older, I could see that he was starting to look like Yohan more and more. When I reminded myself about a seventeen year old Lee Yohan, the one I fell in love with, a boy with a ball of dark straight hair on his head, I saw Joey in him, and that made me hate myself, because I was stupid for thinking that Joey wasn't his son years ago. I was an idiot to assume that Sam would do something this horrible. I guess I just always wanted to see the worst in her for some reason.

"Hey Joey, is your mom home?" I asked politely, not trying to make him worry. I had to talk to Sam, though I hoped he wouldn't listen in on the conversation, because that would be a little awkward.

"I believe she's in the kitchen," the boy nodded slowly. "I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. If you don't mind I was actually on my way out," he added then, and that piqued my interest.

"Right, it's Friday night," I nodded, remembering all the exciting weekends I used to have in high school. We used to have. "So, are you going on a date with that girl from your chemistry class, or just an evening with friends?" I decided to ask. We've been talking, a lot. I knew a lot about Joey, about his personal life. He seriously treated me like a member of his family and I loved that, because that's what I wanted for him, to have someone to talk to, someone other than his mom. "What was her name? Christina?" I asked teasingly, though I knew I was right.