I Let Myself Hope

11 ● Jisoo ● 20.11.2009

November 20th, 2009

Jisoo, Boston

Here's the thing. I honestly didn't come to Boston to make friends, or even worse - boyfriends, but there was this one guy who I've been thinking about for a while. For a month, or something, basically ever since I met him. It was that guy who knew Yohan.

I happened to meet my brother a few times ever since I moved to Boston, which was quite nice, because that way we'd actually see each other sometimes, unlike the time when I was still in high school and I saw him like once a year. But anyways, the last time I saw Yohan, I asked him about Malcolm. Well, maybe not specifically about a guy named like that, because my brother would ask too many questions, but I simply asked him if he had any friends here. He's never really said anything about anyone, but I knew Yohan was kind of a people person and he always had friends. Or maybe not friends, but like- I don't know. Acquaintances. He wasn't big on making real friends. And I think he's been desperate for one ever since he and Jesper basically broke up, but then again nobody could replace Jes, so there's that. I guess my brother would remain friendless for the rest of his life.

But here's the thing. He does have a friend. He told me that he met a guy like a month ago and they've been hanging out quite a lot. And guess fucking what. It's Malcolm. Seems like we both met him around the same time and Yohan actually became buddies with him. So me being me, a curious person, a protective sister, I started asking questions about Malcolm, because why not? I was genuinely curious about him and I wanted to know more.

Turns out, the guy is like super smart, and Yohan was the one to say that. My Yohan. My stupid brother, who thinks he's the smartest of all. There was only one person he thought was smarter than him, and that was Jesper. So, if my brother considered Malcolm to be smarter than him, the guy must have been a fucking genius. And okay, I like that. Love that, actually. I dig intelligent guys, intelligence is fucking sexy, okay? And besides, he's studying to become a doctor. A surgeon, in fact. Just like Yohan and I. That gives him like thirty points, which is a lot. Besides that, he has a family in medicine as well, but he doesn't really care about it, which is a plus too.

The other thing that I noticed myself is that he's British and he's funny. Like the nice kind of funny. The intelligent kind. That's like another thirty more points. So that's a six. And I guess it's no surprise that I consider him extremely handsome. Like seriously, he looks like fucking Snow White with his jet-black hair, big blue eyes and pale skin. To add to that, he's freaking tall, like seriously tall, like taller than Yohan, by a lot. All that gives him another fucking thirty points, which makes it all a ninety already. A fucking ninety. That's a lot. That's too much.

It wasn't supposed to be like that, I didn't come here to look for a relationship, to think about a guy all the time. I'm about to become a doctor, after med school. That's eight years of studies. That's a lot. I can't be distracted my first fucking year in college because of a guy. That's not me. But what the fuck do I do with that? It's not like I can suppress it, make it stop. Especially not when I see him quite often.

Like tonight. I was on my way home from my evening lectures and I just randomly bumped into him. He was walking out of a cafe on campus, and ran to me as soon as he saw me. He looked a bit tired, like he just got out of class himself, carrying a gigantic cup of iced coffee. In November. What a fucking weirdo.

"What's the logic in drinking iced coffee during winter? Aren't you supposed to drink something warm so that you're not cold?" That was the first thing I asked when he caught up with me.