Stories of LITA 1

XIV - Too Good to be True

Is it too good to be true
I want this so much
But don't know if I can trust you

Rain watched the droplets of water cling to the window of Sky's dorm. He had studied for a while with his best friend, completed some homework due next week as well. Sky was taking a shower, so Rain had taken this moment to just zone out. Ever since the incident after the codeline dinner, Rain had been wary and weary. He had not shown his deepest fears to anyone. He knew that his friends had caught on to something being wrong with him, but they had not made a big deal out of it because they knew that he would have said something if he wanted to.

The way people from the faculty would speak about Phayu, it did all seem too good to be true. 'Never judge a book by it's cover.' Isn't that what people said? Then how good was Phayu's façade? How good was he at hiding his deepest, darkest secrets? Rain had been completely taken aback when he had felt Phayu kissing him on his neck under the guise of drying his hair. But after his initial shock, Rain was in rather a quandary. It was not like he had disliked what Phayu had done. He had wanted so much to continue, to fall into Phayu's arms and find his heaven right there. But something had stopped him, pulled him back, a tiny voice of reason that made him understand that he didn't trust Phayu yet, and told him that he didn't even know Phayu enough to begin trusting him.

My mind's racing fast
Tryna find the red flags I'm used to

"You know you can talk to any of us, any time, about anything you want, right?" Ple asked, as Rain sat silent, chewing the tip of the pencil, as he seemed to process something. His mind was racing. Could he tell them? Would they believe him? Phayu had an almost God like presence in their faculty. While he knew Ple was his friend, he also knew that both Som, her brother, and she, had feelings for Phayu. He looked around the table at his friends. He could feel them wanting to reach out. But his fear of the repercussions, of being misunderstood, of being negated, of being ostracised, was far greater than his fear of what would happen if Phayu found him. He had been continually dodging calls from the garage, in order to avoid a face to face confrontation with the man. There was fear, and a weird kind of anticipation that ran through him, but he had to tamp it down before he made it look too suspicious.

"it's nothing guys, let's just finish this assignment and go home, what say?" Rain said, as nonchalantly as possible. He could feel the weight of Sky's look, and he knew that if anyone could catch on the fastest as to what was happening, it was Sky. Sky's traumas and hurts were bone deep, and Rain couldn't even begin to compare his lousy problem with what Sky had gone through. So yes, Sky would see the red flags for what they were, just like he could see them himself. He just smiled, wanting to shake off this feeling of impending doom, and turned to his work. "There you are Nong!" Rain stiffened at the voice, and saw Sky stiffening beside him, as he realised that he had been unable to cover up his reaction. "P'Phayu!" everyone exclaimed as he sat at the table with them.

All these green lights
Are they coming too soon

Rain knew he looked exactly like how he felt; like a deer caught in the headlights. "I was unable to meet you since the codeline dinner Nong. Hope you are well," Phayu asked, and Rain just nodded. "Yes Phi, thank you, I am fine," he said politely, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He knew he could be in trouble. Phayu sitting like this in front of him was not good for his sanity. "Could we talk in private? I have something to discuss with my codeline junior," Phayu said, and everyone immediately nudged Rain to go. Rain could feel his body cramping, and he could feel Sky's breath picking up, understanding slowly why Rain had been so wound up. Rain simply pressed his hand on Sky's thigh, trying to ground him. However red he was feeling from inside, he knew he had to outwardly pretend it was green, because he would the only one in the wrong.