The Young Republic | A Star Wars Story

Chapter 35

Backdraft

"Adversity is a friendship's truest test."

Coruscant: Five months after the reveal of Sidious.

Obi-Wan had just finished a long meditative session when he was cornered by Mace Windu. And it turns out that what was to be said next, a meditation, had been good to still Obi-Wan's nerves.

"We've received news from the Mandalorian. Her condition hasn't improved much, and they should be in Temple any moment."

It was said with the barest of smiles, which meant a lot, coming from Windu. But Obi-Wan could detect an undertone of threat in his voice. Not pissed off—just wary. Which was justified. Obi-Wan felt his heart squeeze as he thought about seeing her again, the searing heat of shame burning a hole right through his chest.

It was still hard to look at Xena.

The last time they had seen each other, their relationship had been strained, to say the least. Obi-Wan couldn't help but feel a mix of guilt and apprehension as he anticipated their reunion in the Temple. He knew that facing Xena would require him to confront his own mistakes and shortcomings, which made it all the more difficult to meet her gaze. Not that it bothered the child. No, she always seemed barely affected by Obi-Wan's presence. Whether that was a blessing or a curse, Obi-Wan didn't know.

Call it selfish, but the memory—the presence—of the old Xena was still a thrum Obi-Wan had to get rid of before he could completely enwrap the child as he should. There wasn't closure, Obi-Wan feels, and it leaves him unsteady. Like he should have said goodbye to something he will greet soon, so he's stuck somewhere on the threshold of a door half-open. The kid seemed to have the same thing going on on her end of the still-silent bond between father and daughter.

"I believe," Mace looked to his comm, "they should be landing now. You can wait for them to finish the session before seeing her."

"Of course," Obi-Wan agreed. He wouldn't dare do anything to jeopardize Xena's health right now. "Thank you for informing me." Even though it is always done at the last minute.

Obi-Wan bowed quickly, and Mace stumbled a bit before giving a hesitant bow in return. Obi-Wan brushed past the Master, steps slow as he took to the halls heading to the Halls of Healing. As Obi-Wan walked, he couldn't help but feel a mix of anticipation and worry. He hoped that Xena's session would go smoothly and that she would recover quickly. However, the nagging thought of the last-minute nature of these sessions continued to bother him. It left him feeling raw. Unsteady. Not ready to see a familiar face in a different body, with a different Force signature.

"Obi-Wan!" Mace called from behind, halting Obi-Wan's steps. He didn't turn as he heard Mace say, "It's alright to move on. She'll need a father eventually, whether or not she is to join the Order."

Right. Right, of course. Obi-Wan nodded numbly and went on.

It's been months since Xena's death. Since his Padawan's death. He had mourned, as any Master would, though he didn't know how to mourn as a father. A part of him felt guilty for even mourning Xena's death when there was a little Xena (who still needed to be raised and cared for) right here and alive.

They weren't the same person. Obi-Wan tried to convince his mind by repeating those words. The two Xenas were completely different people. Or will they be completely different people? Their spirits will shine just the same, but their personalities might be so different one wouldn't even resemble the other.