|| NIGHT COURT || TAEKOOK||

14

Insecurity...an emotion that from centuries ago has proved it's capability to destroy any amount of happiness...an emotion that has the ability to bring your self worth to nothing more than mere dust... The sense of insecurity can be triggered by anything as small as a small silly incident...but the thoughts and fears gets piled up one above the other making it more and more suffocating by the minute..... Jungkook was in a similar situation now

' One month hyung...' Jungkook exclaimed helplessly 'It's been one month since I started dating Taehyung. Trust me am happy about that..he makes me feel so precious...no doubt about it... but it has also been one month since am jobless!'

' Jungkook..' Namjoon sighed ' I know it's a rough situation but this will get better...I can see that you are holding up-'

' I am holding up now..but I don't know for how long I can do that' Jungkook cut him off

' Kook' Namjoon leaned forward holding his hand 'Jungkook...I might be the elder brother of your boyfriend..but here in this clinic of mine...you are my patient and am your psychologist... You can be open with me...talk to me without any filters..and I assure you it will remain just between us..You need to be open with me so that I can help you'

Jungkook gave a weak smile as he nodded ' It's just.... You know...my life was going well...I was a perfect brother...a perfect employee....had a decent job and was earning well enough to look after my family... Only place where I lacked was in my relationship... Aera had always been an important part of my life...and when Hobi hyung told me how he had always wanted me and Aera to be a thing..and asked for marrying her.. as he would love to see me with her...I agreed...not wanting to disappoint him... Thought that may be someday in future I'll like her back... Even she knew...she told a million times that it's ok to say no..but call me selfish..or idiot...I was scared to see his disappointment... I was so obsessed with the idea of being perfect and so scared of disappointing the people who had always praised me for being perfect that I forgot about my own happiness'

Namjoon nodded encouragingly asking the younger to continue

' Then I met Tae..' A small smile formed on his face for the first time ever since they started today's session 'He literally was like a storm...a storm that turned my world upside down...a storm which I won't mind getting hit by again in any other life even if I was warned... He just came in... showed me how it was fine to be myself...how it feels to love myself...and for the first time in my life..I did something for myself without the fear of disappointments when I chose him over everything else...I knew he'd be beside me...I kne-I was sure that I'll bring him the world if he asked me to but now...now I have nothing'

' I was a stable.. employed man with a pretty decent salary who was the epitome of perfection and now am..I don't know... just a stupid jobless clumsy ass idiot who is messing up everything every second to the level that even his family can't believe that he once used to be so flawless' Jungkook's fiddled with his fingers... anxiety surging through his veins as he thought about everything ' I am messing up a lot hyung...Am insecure now... more than I ever have been and am scared...am scared that one day my Tae would feel ashamed to be with someone like me and leave me... Am scared that my Jin hyung would have to take on multiple jobs again to look after us like he once used to do... Am so scared of everything hyung..I-'

Namjoon stood up from his chair... moving closer to the crying male pulling him into his arms ' Jungkook ah...Am glad that you opened up to me about all these... But I must assure you one thing Kook...Your imperfections are what makes you perfect..more real.. and it's ok to mess up.. it's fine to make mistakes as long as you'd learn from them and better yourself... Loving yourself and making yourself happy is more important than molding your happiness into nothing just so others will like you...you can't ignore your happiness just to satisfy others Kook.. that's not how it works...'