APOTELESMA | Kylo Ren x Reader

21 - GIVING IN

You paced your room biting your nails, cursing to yourself. You had tried to sleep away the hole in your heart but your thoughts wouldn't shut off. Vicious vile thoughts filled your mind, had he placed them on purpose to make you jealous or were you just going crazy? You didn't know what thoughts were real anymore.

After denying Kylo and trying to sleep your dissatisfaction with your decision, a gut wrenching thought hit you. What if he seeks pleasure with someone else? There are pleasure houses in Babilla, he could easily find release with someone else.

The thought of Kylo laying with another woman was making you mad with rage. A fury you had never felt before had filled you. Your skin felt like it was on fire and there was a acid boiling within your stomach. You scratched at your arms viciously trying to tame the prickling of your skin. 

Your cunt only throbbed more intensely. You didn't even want to touch yourself, you knew it wouldn't satisfy you. You need to get fucked. You needed to be cured from this madness.

You laughed aloud. You hadn't had sex in a week and you were losing your mind. Hell, you had gone years without sex, why was it any different now?

You stopped pacing, looking at the wall that separated you and Kylo's rooms. You wondered if he too was wallowing in self pity.

You felt like you were on the verge of losing your self control. You scoffed aloud. Is this what you call self control? Because I don't feel like I have any self control.

You focused on trying to calm your thoughts. If he had laid with another woman you would kill her and then him. You two were to be married! How dare he start things off by being unfaithful.

You reminded yourself that this marriage was not formed on love.

You felt like Kylo. You wanted to break something. He was becoming a bad influence on you.

Get a hold of yourself, you repeated to yourself. Then it hit you. You do have self-control. You could have Kylo and have your planet. You could have it all, you just had to not fall for him. You just had to not chose him. You laughed aloud again. Trying to convince yourself that giving into your desires was valid path to take. You smacked your forehead. The answer had been within you all along.

Hell, if he fell for me maybe he won't bring harm to my planet.

YES this is the way, I know he already feels deeply for me, I gotta just make him love me... this is perfect, You told yourself, determined and confident with your choice. And you knew your new choice had been the correct one, because suddenly all your worries washed away.

You knocked fervently on his door. He opened it shocked to see you standing there. You quickly looked him up and down. He was shirtless in black satin pj pants, his hair disheveled and there were dark circle under his eyes, he too had trouble sleeping.

You crashed your lips onto his. You felt a million fireworks go off. This felt so right, being back in his arms, his lips against yours. It felt destined to be with him. You had no drive no passions no true desires until you met Kylo. It wasn't until he entered your life that you felt a sense of purpose.

This choice may have marked you for death, may have made you a traitor to your people but you couldn't care less, because you had never felt more alive in your entire life. It was as if each contact of those plump lips, each groan into your mouth, filled you up with air. And you breathed every inch of him up.

You broke away from him, getting onto your knees. You needed him in your mouth. You wanted to breathe him in in other ways. Kylo was in awe of your sudden leadership. He hissed and gripped onto your shoulders as you took him in and sucked with all your might, not giving him a chance to process all that was happening.