Madeline Howard is back in Colorado for Christmas. Exited to be back for christmas lights. hot coco, family and the Walter boys. Most importantly Alex Walter. Madeline has had the biggest crush on Alex for the longest time. After a three year break...
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Alex
I take two glasses and place them on the counter. Heading to the freezer I take out an ice tray and break some ice and put them into the glasses. Taking the glasses to the fridge I put some watering them and sat down waiting for Kiyle to come over.
I take a deep breath and start to go over in my head what I was going to tell her. The doorbell rings. I get up and head over to the front door. Opening the door I see Kiiyle smiling at me. She walks inside and I shut the door behind her.
" Hey Kiyle we need to talk" I said
" What's up?" Kiyle asks as she takes her coat off
" Come with me. lets head into the living room" I said
Kiyle and I head down the hall into the living room. I sat down on the chair as Kiyle sat down on the chair next to me. Two glasses of water was already on the coffee table in front of us. I placed them there before she got to the hose. Kiyle looked at me with a worried expression.
" Everything okay? You are making me worried? Are you harming yourself again?" Kiyle asked
" No no. I haven't done that since I got out. The meds are working" I told her
You almost harmed yourself this morning. what are you thinking! my mind told me.
" Listen.. you know I am with Madi and you kissed me the other night at the party. I know you were drunk but... I am still with her drunk kiss or not. I love Madi and im not gonna leave her. I'm sorry" I said
" Im sorry. I dont know what I was thinking kissing you at the party. " Kiyle admits
I lean forward and grab my glass of water. Taking a big sip I place my glass back down.
" We cant be friends anymore. I'm sorry. I told you after the first time you kissed me I was with her and yet you still did it when you were drunk. Being drunk changes your behaviour not your morals. " I said
" I- I wanna be with you " Kiyle says
" I know...." I said
" This is why we won't work. All we do is remind each other how broken we are" I said
"im sorry" I said
I got up and kiyle got up with me. We walk to the door and I open the door for her. I gave kiyle one last hug before I shut the door. Locking the door behind me I slide down and sat on the ground for a moment. I start to rub my arm where the scares were.I got up and headed to my room. I shut the door behind me and went to the dresser and opened the box on top of it. I pull out an old altos box. I walked over and sat on my bed. Looking down I looked at the word " spearmint" on the box. I opened the box. I look down at the pencil sharpener blade in the box.
I run my finger over it and looked at the bandaid underneath. I take the blade in my hand and shut the box. placing it on top of the box I roll up my sleeve. I look at the scares.they were faded now. Running my finger over them.
I took a deep breath.
one.two.three... slice.
one. two.three...slice
Looking down at my arm I saw the blood on the blade. I open the box again and place the blade back down. shutting the box. I look back at my arm as I saw the blood starting to run down my arm. I got up before the singing started and placed a towel onto of my arm. The stinging started a few moments later. I sat down at my desk as I applied pressure on my arm. I close my eyes and lean back in the chair.
I hear the door open and I look at who was coming inside the room. I see Madi standing in the doorway. She comes inside and shuts the door behind her. Rushing over to me she looks down at the towel on my arm. Looking up I can see tears in her eyes.
" Was it bad talking to Kiyle?" Madi asks
" I.. I dont know hat came over me. " I said
"Let me see" Madi tells me
I lift the towel and both of us look down at the same time. I place the on the desk. The bleeding had stopped but the stinging feeling stuck around. I look up and met Madi's eyes. Madi leans forward and Madi gives me a kiss.
" Im gonna go get a wet towel. " Madi said
I watch Madi leave the room as I look back down at my arm. I gently touch my arm. I hearty phone buzz on my desk. I look over and saw Jackie texted me.
Jackie
Kiyle just texted me telling me what happened. I am proud of you that you did that. Im sorry you lost a friend. If you need anyone to talk to im here for you. See you soon <3
I send Jackie a heart text before Madi comes back in the room shutting the door again. Madi walks over to me and kneels down taking my hand.
" This will hurt for a moment " Madi tells me
I nod my head. Madi places the towel on my arm as I wince. The cold towel felt good. But.. that stinging and water is something I will never be able to like. I reach over and open a desk drawer. I take out sone gauze and a big band aid. Madi takes the bandaid and opens it. I place the gauze on my arm as Madi goes right behind me and puts the bandaid on
" Thank you " I said
" You okay? You taking your meds?" Madi asks as she sits on my bed
" Im ok. I dont know what came over me. I don't know why I did this. " I admit
" its okay if you are having bad days. " Madi said
" I know. The talk wasn't that bad honestly." I said looking up at her
