The Forgiveable Journey Of The Cheated

3. The Draw of an Exotic Destination

Dan’s reaction is not what she expected. He is rather shocked and his attitude non-committal. He murmurs some words like "it's your decision."

She accurately senses that this news is not producing the desired effect of drawing him into her plans for their future. She had somehow imagined that the announcement would spring him into action, but she detects instead, with consternation, a greater reluctance than the last time they had discussed this issue. In a hurry to close the gap, she rushes to mention that she had told Liam she is leaving the house three days, sufficient time for him to pack his things and move out, to which he surprisingly agreed without any fuss. The observation that the two people she thought desired her most are disinterested in intensifying their relationship with her rattles her.

Don’t think too much about that Charlotte, you’ll only hurt yourself more.

To lighten the atmosphere she suggests, "We could rent a hotel room!"

Dan, eager to avoid any decision making process around the issue of leaving Eve for Charlotte, jumps on the opportunity to fantasize about something else. He thinks it would certainly be nice to have sex in a bed for a change. “And maybe this would give me a chance to get a better idea about what I want” he tells himself, as though three days of sex in a hotel would reveal a long lasting compatibility. “Maybe this is a good time to make my move.” He instructs Charlotte to take care of the reservation and returns home where he immediately tells Eve he is leaving her and that he is going away for a while to think about what he wants. He remembers it is their 12th anniversary only after Eve points out that she does not care too much for her gift. She begins weeping, overcome with sorrow and feelings of powerlessness. Because Dan is allergic to guilt and he could not blame this turn of events on Eve, he gets in the car and texts Charlotte to inform her that he is not going to join her at the hotel.

Obviously this pisses Charlotte off.

She threatens to come over and expose his lie.

"Don't bother coming over, I'm going elsewhere to think about things. And if you do tell Eve, then it will be clear for me that we won't work." Not only is he reluctant to leave the relationship with Eve, he protects it. This does not go unnoticed by Dan who takes it as a sign that when push comes to shove, Eve is “the one”.

Eve is not sure if she wants him back. Part of her thinks “good riddance asshole” as he walks through the door, but much of her feels it is all wrong. She pleads with him by text to return to her bed, saying she will not put pressure on him. She tells him she wants to be in his arms, even if she doesn’t always show it. She wants to feel his skin against hers; she sorely misses his physical warmth and contact. “Come back to me, no questions asked. I’m not perfect, but I’m good.”

After three restless nights of sleeping in his car, he vows, for a third time since Charlotte gave him a first blow job in the parking lot of the convention center between Christmas party speeches, to leave Charlotte and become a better husband to Eve. This becomes Dan’s master plan for the time being. With some idea of what to do, he could now go “home”.

Yes. This story is a tragedy, for Dan’s promise to himself lasts less than a day.

He returns home like an errant dog. As Eve cries uncontrollably, he watches her from where he sits on the couch and denies that he had ever said he was leaving. And when she asks him to hold and console her, he says “I can’t. I feel too guilty.”

It never occurred to her to ask why.

Faced with Dan’s inability to support her following the pain he himself had inflicted upon her, Eve resolves to distance herself from him as a means to protect herself from hurt. Thus begins her roommate-ship with the one she starts to refer to as “grumpy old man”, and the start of her own ambivalent reflections about whether to get the fuck out or tolerate. On one hand, she figures that they are a good match in many ways. She (mistakenly?) notes that there is love for him, and fun, and family, and a life constructed from a similar vision. They occasionally argue but hardly the stuff of deep rooted discord. On the other hand, who is this grumpy old man, and could she spend the rest of her life with him? Eve’s withdrawal and ambivalence obviously negatively contribute to the already established problematic relationship dynamic.