The Forgiveable Journey Of The Cheated

7. Dressing for First Class

She asks him if his lover is a friend or someone she knows. One betrayal stings enough, but two... "No, it was a girl from work."

She does not stop to think about how this news could impact their relationship, their lives together, or how she feels about herself. She does not even think about whether his admission is to sever the tie or to come clean in order to move forward. Her reflex is to reiterate that if he wishes to pursue the relationship, then he should come to the cabin. Dan is so surprised by her invitation that he agrees to come.

He has released some of his secrets. They had created a lump so heavy in his stomach that he had not been able to get out of bed all day.

In the hours following this conversation and before his arrival at the cabin, Eve feels dizzy with relief and shock. Shock, obviously, because she never suspected such a thing, but relief too because a curtain has now been lifted on his change of attitude towards her (although this curtain opened up to a period in time no further back than the break-up attempt almost three months ago). On one hand, it means that all this time, she had not been as repulsive as he had led her to believe, but on the other hand, after years of having developed the habit of feeling like everything had been her fault, she senses she had not been good enough and is hence responsible for his affair.

When he meekly steps out of the car, she hugs him and tells him it will be all right - as though it is he who needs to be consoled.

Plus the kids are around, they couldn't make a scene.

Once sitting in front of the fireplace, she has plenty of questions. Her first is "how long?" After wiggling in his seat, humming and hawing and hesitating, she guesses a number that seems impossible to her. "A year?" He corrects her. "Three."

Let that sink in.

Three fucking years of fucking another person.

This was not just fucking, this was a fucking relationship. Her mind is reeling so much that the gravity of his unfaithfulness is not taken into consideration in her decision to take him back if he did come to the chalet.

Her questions bubble up and pop out of her mouth, and through the partial answers, if they are forthcoming, she discovers some details. For example, he broke up with his lover a few weeks ago (Dan figures this sounds better than the truth) and his lover is younger than him. He also admits having expressed love for her, but denies having said anything of the likes from that moment on. This would become the first of many contradictions in telling his version.

He doesn't think Eve and he could work with this affair in the portrait, but he wants to. Actually, he is not sure if he really does want it to work out, but says he does anyway, seeing as Charlotte is no longer an option. Eve, who had spent the past 2 and a half months hoping that Dan would stay with her, impulsively says "yes, let's move forward", as though a 3-year affair is a minor glitch. He wisely points out that she is in shock and that his revelation would eventually create a much bigger reaction. She suspects this is true but hopes it is not. That evening, Dan holds her and she cries a lot.

Despite all the tears she sheds, she is obviously in total denial.

They leave the cabin and return home. Life goes on. They work on Monday. They help the kids with their homework. They prepare meals and clean house. Though after a few days of this, an obsession for details about the affair begin to carve a path into Eve's brain. Obsession is a strong word, but it depends on whose perspective. Obviously Dan thinks it unnecessary for her to know any details, but they take on an immense importance for her. Years later, she is uncertain as to whether knowledge obtained at that time was helpful or unhealthy. Pretending it never happened is unhealthy, talking about it is healthy, but details probably fall on the side of unhealthy. Dan is little willing to talk about it, so she encounters a lot of resistance to her quest for details. Yet, not talking about it is killing Eve.