The Forgiveable Journey Of The Cheated

9. The High Cost of Staying on Track

The problem with being a Stepford wife is that frustrations accumulate and break through the seals in insidious ways.

Eve, disheartened by the realization that Dan is not going to be able to face the consequences of his actions, particularly Eve’s emotional reactions and the relational adjustments, becomes overwhelmed with her own familiar growing ambivalence. She is struck by his ugliness, his hardness, his coldness. Something is irreparably broken, but she still wants to move forward, for “no relationship is perfect”.

So like Charlotte, after Dan told her he was not coming to the hotel in January, Eve too makes plans. She decides that she will not give Dan a free pass to going back to the “whore's” arms, and in the meantime, she will determine the fate of her relationship in April, basing her decision on observations she would gather until then as a curious participant of her life. If he returns to Charlotte’s embrace, she will wish Charlotte luck. He is nothing worth fighting for, with little to offer, especially if he continues behaving as he has been. Eve will then focus on building a new and more compatible happier life.

Until then, she will continue play the role of a Stepford wife while she conducts her anthropological study of her relationship.

But being a Stepford wife is a lot of effort when one carries a ton of hurt and anger. It means trying to be perfect, while taking care of the man.

Her first matter of business is writing an apology for some of the events over the past days. She apologizes for making the atmosphere in the room unpleasant, for trying to have that conversation at 4:00 in the morning. She makes a joke about insomnia and regaining some but not all of the 20 pounds she lost since July. She wishes him a pleasant day, encourages him to “not give up” and spews out crap philosophy about ending up happy no matter what the road. She evokes new travel projects. With his guard down when dealing with a Stepford wife, Dan smiles and acts friendly towards her. Eve tells him that she notices these changes and is happy to see them.

However, despite her best Stepford wife efforts, she could not hold back all negative emotional reactions. For example, Eve has to account for the tearful reaction she had one morning when he said he had to leave early for work. Everything tilted in her head. Her first reaction had been “Is he going to see her?” Of course she believes him when he says the affair is over, but there could be loose ends, regrets, temptations. She tells him all her thoughts on the issue in the spirit of "openness", hoping that he will adopt the same stance, because otherwise it will be hard to move forward. "It's what I want" she says half-heartedly, for she is no longer too certain about that. "I love you despite all this" she says - and because that sounds like bullshit to her ears (because it is true and not true), she says something more truthful. "I really want things to work out, but it’s hard".

He concedes. He had known that she might think that something was up when he told her about having to work early. He let her have that meltdown without adopting an "I'm telling you the truth so calm down and leave me the fuck alone" attitude. He tries to reassure her by telling her that he would make an effort to avoid Charlotte, starting with not going to the union meeting he had been planning to attend while knowing full well Charlotte would be there. He feels like he is oh so generous with this act of self-sacrifice.

He also generously warns Eve there will be a Christmas party to eventually contend with. He knows it will be a tough one because they both know Charlotte will be there too. He also knows that this event was one of their yearly date nights as well. But, Christmas is weeks away, so it slips his mind. To distract Eve and to change the subject, he asks her if she wants to go to the movies.

Nice try Dan, but because she is in Stepford mode, she gracefully accepts his offer and then takes care of the poor guy who is about to refrain from having a social life (that once revolved around Charlotte). "Oh please, I don't want to stop you from doing the things you love". She hates hearing these words come out of her mouth so pleasantly, as though he is the wounded one, yet she also knows that preventing him from doing these things would leave him feeling bitter, which eventually equals rejection and turning to something (or someone) sweeter.