Air Conditioning

Understand the Beast

Another day pretending you don't exist when I'm with My Forever.

Another day passing without expressing the turmoil,

The putrid sad thing inside of me that reaches out for you.

It's being buried, My Desire, and yet that's what you want.

You feel no sympathy for the animal that's squashed under those tires,

That's sprayed onto the underbelly of your own beast.

I understand it, truly, I do,

And yet that animal squabbles inside my head until I pile dirt on top of it.

At first it wails, and begs, and screams,

And then it silently cries and weeps.

It weeps for what will never be,

It cries for the tire tracks and claw marks left by your beast, which peers at me from the darkness.

You've slaughtered it while it's still young, My Desire,

Or at least you've asked me to.

The request is what left it's wounds,
Pouring its pain unto my heart as it cries,

But my obedience is what kills it.

Your beast is so unwilling to die at the cunning claws of My Forever's, knowing that if I were to be asked, I would chase it away from my own heart and no longer allow it to stalk me.

It is unwilling to go without a glance in my direction; though it truly wants to sink it's teeth into me, it would rather die than go without its stalking eyes.

And so it left those claw marks, those tire tracks, those wounds upon mine  own animal as you ask me to bury it.

Despite the relief there is to be together in the raising of a beast, an animal, you've asked me to slaughter mine.

You'd rather be alone in this than lose everything.

And so no more will I hold any part of you,

And so no more will I allow myself to worry about what you think of me,

And so no more will I allow this animal of desire grow to match the size of your beastly one, who watches and never touches, who pleads but doesn't accept.

I understand it, I truly do.