Air Conditioning

Goodnight

I'm a man of my word,
Whenever I can be.

It binds my soul,
More rope than chain,
Digging until it bleeds and all I can do is soundlessly scream.

This thing we've done,
We can't really undo it.

But if you decide to kick me out of your life,
You're welcome to it,
I would never dream of robbing you of that right.

So if it's all too much to bear,
And you can't stand to see me, standing there,
Then bid me farewell, and tell the door
To kick me on my way out.

I remember hearing this though I don't know where,
And I know I'm remembering wrong,
But..

When one abandons the bittersweet,
So many good things are lost,
For every light there is shadow,
And every laugh there will be tears,
Though it's when the bad outweighs the good,
That you should consider
Leaving behind the bittersweet.

I can say I understand,
But deep down I know I don't,
The depths of your despair run deeper trails than those I walk,

And I'm sorry I can't do more.

Thank you, for everything you've done,

For being there for me at my worst,
For being the only person who seems excited for who I will become,
For making me smile when I swore my mood was beyond saving,
For singing me melodies even when you know I am not listening,
For standing near me if not beside me even in the darkest moments,
For telling me things I never thought I'd hear from anyone,
For being one of many who told me I deserve better,
For attempting to help me even when I will not help myself,
For sticking with me through my ugliest times,
And living it up with me in the happiest ones,
For letting me help you when I could,
For helping me when I thought no one would,
For seeing great things in me when all I see are flaws,
For being happy for me when you wanted to be sad,
For understanding things even when they hurt,
For working hard and doing the best you could,

For everything.

Thank you, and know this,

This, right now, is not goodbye unless you want it to be.

In two months time that goodbye will be a hidden 'see you around, stranger'.

Unless you are ready to let everything go.

And know that I am eternally grateful for everything, including the infinite things I did not list,

And make your decision understanding that I love you.

Now, Sol,
Goodnight.