Secretly Yours, (Enhypen Jay X Female OC)

Ch. 23: The Moon Was Beautiful

This is bad.

This is really, really, really bad.

How could I have been so careless? I knew Sawol was in the library, too. I knew there was gonna be a chance that she'd eventually go looking for something to read, too. So why didn't I think that she could be on the other side of the shelf, hearing possibly everything Sunghoon and I have been talking about?!

But the worst part is? I don't know what she heard, and I don't know how much she heard. It's not like I can ask her, and she's not even acknowledging anything! Just what exactly did she hear?!

"S-Sawol... W-wait up!" I tried, but obviously failed, to hide that I was nervous as I tried to catch up to Sawol on our way home.

"You hurry up!" she shouted back as she turned to me, frowning as she met my gaze, and scaring me as I stopped just a few feet from where she stood.

It really did feel like I did something wrong.

And I couldn't help but feel even more awkward as I tried to catch up to Sawol's pace, all while trying to maintain a distance between us. Why was I so scared? Moreover, why does it feel like I'm the only one who feels awkward?

And Sawol... JUST WHY WAS SHE SUDDENLY SMILING LIKE THAT??!

Is it a good thing? Is it bad? Ugh, of all the times when I actually need Sunghoon's advice, why isn't he here??

"I-I'm coming," I replied in a softer voice as I took a step closer to where Sawol is, and we continued walking home like usual.

I really didn't know what to feel at all... And Sawol being like this wasn't helping at all!

It went on up until that night, and I could still feel my heart dying to jump out of my chest after the shock I got that afternoon. I felt it was really unfair, though. It's like I'm the only one who felt extremely nervous.

Ah, now that I think about it, should I call Sunghoon and ask for advice?

I mean, I could just ask Mom, but... I'm pretty sure she would end up teasing me instead. And if I'm any more unlucky today, Sawol might hear again. I mean, she's literally just right next-door!

Ugh, I really don't know what to do... I'm dying to talk and explain to Sawol, but what else am I supposed to explain? Should I just come out with it and tell her I like her? Would that really be the best option?

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear my name being called outside. And as I turned, my eyes widened when I realize that the voice that called me belonged to Sawol. I froze for a moment, before I heard her call my name again.

"Jay! Psst!"

Wait a minute... Where is she... calling me from?

I quickly got out from my seat and ran out to the balcony to see where Sawol is, only to end up seeing her standing on the wall, in the space in between my balcony and her window. She looked up and met my eyes as soon as I reached the edge, and my eyes widened yet again as our eyes met.

"... About time you came out," she told me with a smile.

I gulped at the sight of her, before I awkwardly turned my gaze away amd tried to play it cool. "Y-yeah... I couldn't really hear you the first time around. Sorry about that."

Well, obviously, I failed, but thankfully, Sawol didn't seem to mind.

And then I noticed Sawol looking up at the sky through my peripheral vision, and I looked back at her to see the stars shining in her eyes.

Though, it seemed it wasn't the stars she was looking at this time.

"The moon looks really bright tonight. And I wanted to get your opinion on some stuff I wrote. Wanna join me?" Sawol turned to me as she finished speaking, and she held her hand out, making me raise her brows at what she's implying.

And then I looked at the gap between my balcony and the wall.

Eh... No.

"C-can we meet in the yard, instead?" I eventually asked as I looked back at Sawol with a nervous smile. "I don't think I can jump that far."

She frowned in return as she dropped her hand, before she playfully rolled her eyes and began walking towards her usual spot on the wall. "Fine. I'll meet you there!"

"Yeah. See you!" And then I ran out of my room and out of the house, before I ended up at the front yard and caught Sawol again right as she jumped.

The moon did look really bright that night.

And the stories Sawol showed me were just as lovely. Well, maybe I ended up thinking that because she knew what I liked in romance novels. Or because they were written by the girl I like.

I did feel her gaze on me several times when I laughed or smiled at what she wrote. And as much as I tried to stay calm all throughout, I could still feel my face getting hot, and my focus being disturbed everytime she did that.

Eventually, I finished reading them all, and as I did, I still had a smile on my face as I closed Sawol's notebook and I turned to her to see her looking up at the moon yet again.

She looked pretty with the moonlight shining on her.

"So? Did you like it?"

"H-huh?" I'm snapped out of my thoughts, and all of a sudden I felt myself getting all flustered again before Sawol suddenly laughed.

"The stories, I mean."

"O-oh, right! T-they were good... They were really good, actually. I'm sure you could tell by the amount of times my expression changed while I was reading..."

"Is that so?" Sawol asked as she smiled.

I found myself freezing again before I looked away again. Why do I keep getting more and more nervous around her now? It's like I haven't spent the majority of the last seven years of my life around her...

And then I shifted my gaze towards the moon.

"It looks really pretty tonight, don't you think?" Sawol asked as she did the same, and I hummed and nodded in response.

And then a thought occured to me. "... You should write about the moon."

"Hmm? You mean a story about it?"

"I mean, a poem would suffice." I shrugged as I suggested that.

Sawol seemed to like it, though, as a bright smile spread across her face just as I turned to her. "I'll take that as a challenge!"

In the end, I never told Sawol how I felt that night. Nor did she ever address what happened at the library. Perhaps it's best that I never really mentioned it at all.

After all, it's probably what she would have wanted, too.

...

... Heh.