Secretly Yours, (Enhypen Jay X Female OC)

🌱 Letters to Sawol ➵ 11

Dear Sawol,

To be honest, I really don't know how to start this.

I've tried way too many times already. Trust me, I tried my best...

But I guess there's just never a right way to start this when I have so many things I want to say to you all at once.

It's been two years. I've gotten better physically from the impact of the accident, but emotionally?

To put it short, I really, really, really miss you.

But if you really want to go the long way, I don't think there's a right way to do that too, honestly.

I honestly wouldn't wanna tell you of how low I've felt. That's not really a nice burden to put on you, and I've been told it would be better to talk about more positive things with you, like how life has been or something like that. But, honestly?

I don't think I can bring myself to talk about good things if you aren't in them. Nothing really feels as good without you around. I guess, I just got too used to having you around in every important part of my life, that living life without you just feels... wrong?

But you'd want me to keep going, don't you?

Sawol, there are so many things I wang to tell you right now. I miss you, I love you, and most of all...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't treat you like how you deserved. I'm sorry I ran away when I should have been running to you, instead. I'm sorry I came too late, and I'm sorry I ignored your calls.

I'm sorry I didn't listen to you and ended up listening to someone else instead.

I guess, if I just ignored it all and kept writing to you, things wouldn't be as they are now...

I'm sorry for making this bleak.

Haha I guess, I just can't help it. Everytime I think about you or write to you, I end up crying. And honestly, that's what's kept me scared of writing to you.

But I think I can do it now.

I promised I would, after all. It's been too long, and it's about time I came back and paid you a visit. And it's about time I wrote you a letter, too. And a long one at that. I owe you a lot of words for all the ones I failed to write you.

Sawol, please wait for me. I'll be coming back now, so just stay where you are and I'll be the one to go to you this time. I promise I'll make it. I promise I'll be there.

And I promise you'll always have my heart no matter what.

Just wait for me, alright?

Forever Yours,
Jay

P.S.
I'm sure you'd love to know that a little black butterfly came in and landed on this letter as I was writing it. You think it might be Buddy's great great grandchild or something?