Secretly Yours, (Enhypen Jay X Female OC)

Ch. 31: The Day I Regret The Most

My steps stop, eventually, and a sigh comes out of me as I look up, at the white building standing in front of me, still and quiet.

Ah... I'm already here?

My hands are shaking, and I curl them up into fists hoping that'll somehow stop them. But I doubt that did much.

I still have to go inside.

I still have to go inside to see Sawol. Just one step and I'll be going straight to her. Just. One.

Step.

"So? Did you send it?"

All of a sudden, it's like all my memories are flashing before me as I continue walking, like they've come to prepare me for what's to come.

"How could you... How could you ignore her like that?! What did she ever do to you?!"

My hands are numbing now. But that's not the first thing I notice as I walk further inside.

"I just don't understand you. What exactly do you want to happen?"

All of a sudden, it's like my feet are getting heavier.

My chest, too.

"Are you happy? Are you happy now?! She won't even see any of us because of you, why the hell did you have to break her heart like that?!"

I gulp, all of a sudden, my chest getting heavier and my feet getting dragged with every passing second, until...

"Sawol!"

I flinch as I hear the sound of that crash in my head, followed by my own voice begging as I finally entered that room.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I came too late... I'm sorry..."

"Hi... Sawol." I gather all my courage, smiling and waving once as I look at her smiling photo surrounded by letters and roses and plastic butterflies, all sitting behind the glass frame protecting everything that she was. "How have you been?"

I, in fact, never sent that last letter to her. In time, at least. But when I did, it was already too late.

I really should have been better to her, damn it.

.

.

.

When Sawol finally came to Seoul, I made it my mission to avoid her as much as possible until she, if it were possible, forgot that I existed.

Maybe I really should have known that was impossible considering the fact we spent most of our childhood together. But what I really didn't expect was that she'd end up avoiding Sunghoon and Yunjin, too, because of my actions.

Still, stubborn as I was back then, I kept pretending it didn't affect me.

"Are you happy? Are you happy now?! She won't even see any of us because of you, why the hell did you have to break her heart like that?!"

I kept my mouth shut and my head down, not willing to look at her or Sunghoon, but I knew in my heart that I was definitely to blame if ever our friendship really fell apart.

"I just don't understand you. What exactly do you want to happen?"

Even Sunghoon was getting sick of me, I could tell. After everything, he did to help me, I still didn't do anything.

It just made me feel worse as I layed in my bed that night, looking at all tr missed calls I got from Sawol.

She got my nunber from Sunghoon. But being the coward I was, I could never bring myself to answer any of them. The last call I got from her was two months ago, and I never really expected to get a call from her again...