Secretly Yours, (Enhypen Jay X Female OC)

Ch. 26: The Slip-Up

I almost never really climbed up that wall Sawol always sat on. I guess I had thoughts about doing it before. But either I was too scared, or I didn't wanna do it because Sawol wasn't gonna be there to do it with me.

... But I did climb it just once.

And that was on the night before my departure to Seoul for college, when my bags were already packed in my room, and I was just sitting there, at my desk, waiting for some type of message from Sawol in case she wanted to have one last talk before I left the next day.

Her message sure did take quite a while to arrive, though, but when it did, I'm pretty sure I dashed out of my room and got to my front lawn as quickly as I could. And when I was finally outside, I turned to the wall, and just as expected, there sat Sawol, smiling as she looked down at me, still as beautiful as ever.

"Took you long enough to come out. I even had enough time to wait here after climbing," she teased me as soon as our eyes met.

I breathed out a laugh as I smiled, and then I walked a bit closer to the wall so we could talk better. "Should I catch you again on your way down then?" I reached my hand out, already preparing to do just that, but then Sawol smiled wider at me, like she had a better idea.

"How about you come up here, instead? About time you did... before you might never get the chance to."

"... Hmm?" My eyes widened at her statement, and then I looked at her like she just said something crazy. Sawol just laughed out loud in return.

"Come on! It'll be fun! And you get a pretty good view sitting up here. I'm telling you!"

"And how am I supposed to get up there?" I asked, genuinely confused though I was definitely thinking of doing just as Sawol told me as soon as I find a way up.

"How about entering through my gate first so you can climb from the back?" she suggested, and I smiled awkwardly at her as I asked another question.

"Can I really do that?"

"What? You think my dad's gonna kill you if you do?"

I laughed nervously in response, before I tilted my head, as if that would be enough for me to see behind the wall. And then I raised my index finger as I spoke again. "Alright, gimme a sec. I'm coming up there."

I felt Sawol's eyes on me the whole time I went out my gate, went to and entered hers, and then looked up the way she always used to get up the wall. This was... the first time I was seeing the set-up of the things she used to get up, too.

"You really aren't scared of anything, are you?" I asked Sawol as I looked at all the things clumsily stacked on top of each other, and she laughed as she looked at me.

"Just come up, already! It's safe, I promise."

"Eh..." I grimaced as I looked at the makeshift ladder, before I shifted my gaze to look back up at Sawol only to end up meeting her expectant eyes.

I ended up climbing that thing in the end. To my surprise, Sawol was right, though. It was safe. For the most part, if we excluded that last step where I slipped on the edge of an old fridge right as I got a hold of the top of the wall.

"How... are you still alive?!" I asked in bewilderment as I nervously adjusted myself so I would be facing the same way Sawol was.

"How are you still alive?" she asked me back playfully, and I just sighed out loud in response before I breathed out a laugh.

And then I finally looked ahead.

Now this... Sawol was completely right about. The lights from the city downtown sparkled in different colors, some of them dancing and swaying as the place still bustled with people and cars...

It's kinda sad that this was probably going to be my first and last moment of ever seeing a view like this. And that thought summoned a sad smile on my face as I looked on.

And then Sawol spoke up from beside me. "I told you." She spoke, ever so softly like she was afraid of breaking the solemnity of the moment.

I turned to her shortly after that, smiling to tell her that she was right, alright... until I met her eyes, and I froze at the sight of the stars shining in them.

Sawol looked shocked for a moment, too, before she smiled, and I noticed the sad hint in her smile. I knew what that was about, of course. We both did.

And I opened my mouth to say something, but Sawol beat me to it.

"It's scary, isn't it?... We've reached this point once again."

I paused in silence for a moment as I thought about her words, before I nodded and hummed. For some reason, I looked away, too, like I was about to be called out for something I did.

"You know, I always wondered if I was the only one feeling scared about these moments," Sawol continued, and I remained quiet as I listened to what she had to say. "Everytime you had to leave, that is... When you were in middle school and I was still in elementary, when you went to high school and I was still in middle school, and now... It always feels like I'm being left behind with no one to stay by my side, while I wait for the day I get to see you again... It's honestly really, really scary."

Sawol let out a quiet laugh at the end of it, but it didn't do much to comfort me as I looked away from her and hung my head.

Of course. This could be the last time we'd ever see each other again for some time, so she must be saying everything she has to say.

But I guess I really have to do that, too, huh?

"Honestly, I'm scared, too," I confessed, before I looked back towards Sawol and she did the same. Her eyes were wide, but I had a smile forced on my face as I looked on at her sadly.

I knew I was gonna miss her badly. But for some reason, all those thoughts and emotions weren't enough to push me to tell her what exactly I felt at the moment.

And so, that was all I said. "I'm scared" was the only thing I could force out of my chest, and just like the words I uttered, it really was cowardly of me to leave it just like that.

It hurt for a moment as I thought about it, but that night, I really didn't let it slip that I liked Sawol...

But she did.

"Jay... I like you."

I got my first confession that night. And thank goodness, it was from Sawol.