Subkit Oneshots [PHIGHTING!]

YAN! MEDKIT ; HEALING HURTS

"Hey." Medkit flagged him down as they were about to leave from a phight. Subspace turned to him quickly. What could he want?

"What is it, Meddy??" He wore a gleeful expression with an undertone of bitter malice, eye squinted in a 'shuteye' smile. The two were on the bus home from the phights, sitting directly next to each other. Subspace silently wished he had sat next to someone- anything would have been better than the traitorous Medkit. Subspace had sat down first, and Medkit followed, even though Medkit normally did not do any of those sorts of things- at all. "How is your rot carrying along?" Medkit inquired, hand fidgeting with something in his pocket. The bus shot up slightly, making both of them rise upwards. Medkit was much less fazed than Subspace, the inventors eyes widening as he clutched onto the closest stable thing there was in his line of sight, which just so happened to be Medkit. His hand closest to the doctor latched onto his shoulders quickly, and left as soon as it had arrived. "Don't get the wrong idea!!" he squealed, swiftly removing his hand from the doctors shoulder as soon as the moment had passed. He could have sworn Medkit's face dusted in a hint of teal.

"Well, why would I let a traitor like you know anything about me?!?" Subspace accused, crossing his arms. Medkit could have laughed at the inventor. He did, a small chuckle bubbling through his mouth. "Because I can help you. You know your rot will kill you soon, at this rate." Medkit simply replied. "How do you know when my rot will kill me?!" Subspace retorted quickly, sputtering. "Well, because I can help you with it." Medkit replied. He really was getting desperate, wasn't he? "How do I know that this isn't some trick to kill me?!" "Because I gain something out of it too." Medkit offered, Subspace barely noticing a twinge of excitement seep into his voice, ever so slightly different than his monotone & deadpan voicebox. It actually unnerved him, seeing Medkit so happy for what seemed to be Subspace. "Well, hit me then. What's your deal?" Subspace glared at the doctor. Medkit fished in his pocket and pulled out a gleaming crystal, glimmering in light of the sun from a nearby window reflecting the rays of light. It was teal, like Medkit, but the color and size of Subspace's head crystal, albeit a bit smaller. It had a black string looped around it. "What is that?" Subspace asked. Medkit dangled it in front of him.

"It's a healing crystal I specifically designed for you."

"For me? Why would you make that??"

"To win you over."

Medkit's excitement was barely, if at all, concealed. His plan was going wonderfully.

"It will stop your rot, if not slow it down greatly. Not heal it, it's not strong enough for that."

"So... you're sure it won't assassinate me in my sleep??"

"No. You're acting like I did this for you for free."

"What's the catch??"

Medkit had a mischievous glint in his eye.

"You have to date me."

Subspace stopped in his tracks. What?? "Meddy, are... you kidding me??" Subspace spluttered, as if he hadn't heard Medkit properly. "No. I'm serious." Medkit swayed the crystal from side to side almost playfully, the crystal thrumming in his hand. This was a bit of an awful idea. "Why?" Subspace stared, trying to work out in his brain why his mortal enemy would want to date him. That was the sort of thing he used to think about at night, a fleeting ' Would I date this person? ' distracting him from his late night research he'd shove to the corner of his mind in an attempt to focus. This was probably a trick, or a way to further get Subspace back, a futile attempt at revenge. "Your awesome inventions and man failure personality have deeply captivated me." Medkit's voice was dripping with sarcasm, and he followed it up. "No, I just love you. Is that so wrong?" Subspace was baffled at Medkit's casual expresssion. "Obviously, we're enemies, Medkit!!" Subspace exclaimed matter of factly. Medkit's expression soured. Was he actually serious??

"Hmm... fine then. Don't go telling anyone." Medkit let it go, and he sighed and looked away. He put the amulet back in his pocket, a dejected look on his face. Subspace felt a pang of guilt, minute, but enough to make him reconsider. Medkit, on the other hand, was annoyed. He'd have to resort to more dangerous methods then. "Meddy!! Don't be like that!!" Subspace sighed. "Fine!! Fine!!" Subspace had no idea what possessed him. His pride was absolutely ruined, agreeing to date his enemy? Really? No, he rationed. This benefits himself, the great Subspace T. Mine, so it's okay. "Serious?" Medkit asked, blinking his eye in disbelief. "Yep!!" Subspace grinned. Medkit turned back to him. He unclasped his gas mask slowly and clasped the necklace around his neck. The doctor pressed a chaste kiss to Subspace's mouth, the taste of rot creeping across his mouth, not that he minded. It was the taste of Subspace Tripmine, the love of his life. After a beat of hesitation, Subspace kissed back, and Medkit felt like he was the luckiest demon in the world. He hummed with satisfaction, a small and rare smile adorning his face. "I love you, Subspace." Medkit felt truly at peace. "I love you too, Meddy!!" Subspace rested his head on the crook of Medkit's neck as the bus rumbled under them. Subspace would be at his destination soon. Until then, Medkit was content to let him rest.

Medkit flopped onto his bed with a satisfying sigh, staring up into the ceiling. Finally, he'd won. Subspace seemed hesitant at first, but Medkit knew it wouldn't take long for the gem's more.... adverse side effects to come into play.