I Love You Still

Chapter 1: The Start

July 10th 2010

''So mr James Fraser, I am mr Cameron, what brings you here today?'' my new therapist asks and I don't know how to answer. ''First ye may call Jamie,'' he nods and I wait before I continue. ''My wife died almost 3 years ago and I'm still no' over it,''

Mr Cameron nods and writes it down on his paper. ''I'm sorry for your loss mr Fraser,'' I mutter a quiet thank you. ''May I ask what happend?'' I look him in the eyes for a moment and then look to the ground. 'Be honest with them my son, they might be able to take away a wee bit of pain' his Mam's words ring in his ears.

''Car crash... she died in a car crash,'' I say softly, the tears are already burning in my eyes again, after almost 3 years the ache is just as bad as it was the day she died. ''Can you tell me more?'' he asks kindly and I nod and tell him everything.

-----

September 27th 2007

Claire and I ate dinner with my parents and Jenny and Ian once a week. Jenny and Ian's bairns would come along and be seated at a small table next to the big dinner table. It was either Mam or I who cooked and this time it was me.

Mam and Dad were still out running errands and Jenny and Ian had only just arrived wi' the bairns. Claire's shift had ended 5 minutes ago but most of the time she would pick up a nice bottle o' whiskey on her way here so she should be home in 30 minutes.

I had just gotten a voicemessage from Claire. She told me she was leaving the hospital at that moment and would be home soon. She also told me she couldn't wait to be near me and for me to hold her, which probably meant something happend at work.

I was deep in thoughts when mom suddenly stood beside me. ''Goodday to you daydreamer,'' she grinned and she knew exactly who I was thinking about. ''Hello Mam,''

''Is Claire not here yet?'' she asks surprised and I shake my head. ''She should be here in half an hour, he shift just ended,'' I explain and Mam nods. I grab the pans and put them on the table. ''Jamie, I've been thinking and I've talked to yer father, but I need tae speak wi' ye,''

I nod and we sit down at the table. ''We are worried for Claire, she has been working so much that it's draining her Jamie. Can't ye see that?'' she says and she does have a worried look on her face. ''I ken Mam, but she loves her job and I'm no' gonna ask her to quit and give up on her dreams,''

''You don't have to Jamie, but maybe ye could talk to her? Make sure she's alright and be there for her in any way possible,'' she suggest and I nod again. ''Aye, I'll talk to her tonight,''

I spend some time cathing up with Ian and Jenny and playing with the bairns before checking the time. 6.15 pm... Claire's shift ended 5.30 so she should've been here by now. I start to worry but try to remain calm, she's probably held up at the store.

When she's still not here by 7.00 pm, it really scares me. ''Why isn't she here yet? It's been one and a half hour! She should've been home and hour ago!'' I say frustrated while pacing trough the kitchen. ''She's probably fine, just held up,'' my mom says trying to comfort me but I see she's worried too.

At 7.18 pm the doorbell rings and I rush to the door. When I open it there is no Claire, but 2 police officers. My heart drops to my stomach and I carefully step outside. ''Officers, can I help you with something?'' I ask and the look at me with much pity. ''Are you mr Fraser? Mr James Fraser?''

I nod slowly and the swallow. ''We regret to inform you that your wife mrs Claire Fraser was involved in a car accident earlier this evening and has been killed in the crash,'' the second the words are spoken my heart stops. Claire was dead? She can't be.... she's only 22...