Always

1 : coffee.

It's 7 in the morning. I'm supposed to get ready for the day, but I can't. It's like my body is not in my control . I've been standing in front of the mirror for fifteen minutes now, just staring myself. I haven't slept a wink in three days, even the sleeping pills show no effect on my insomnia. The dark circles under my eyes prominent. Maybe Katie was right, I have gained weight.

I look absolutely ridiculous. My tailbone-length brunette hairs are tied in a messy bun, my hazel eyes bloodshot red. The shorts I'm wearing show all the cuts on my thigh. I somehow force myself to get away from the mirror and start to get ready also It's been three days since I last saw Katie and Maddie, maybe they don't want to be around me. I mean, I wouldn't want to hang out with me either.

I decided to wear a navy blue pullover sweater, a high-waisted black mini skirt, high boots with my Chanel tights to hide the scars on my thigh. I left my straight hair open with natural curls at the end, with my pendant that I never really remove. That pendant is the closest thing I am to myself. Feeling content with the way I look, I enter the kitchen for breakfast. I try to make myself a fruit bowl, but just looking at it makes me want to throw up.

You shouldn't eat that. you're already gaining weight, you know.
You're fat, Ivy.
You don't want to be an her again, do you?
You shouldn't eat.
No one will like you if you get fat.

My trail of thoughts is broken by the bell ringing. On opening the door, I see none other than Maddie. "Hey there, Ivy!" she continues to sing my name as she enters the kitchen. "God damn, Maddie, it's 7 in the morning. You need to calm down." She just gives me her famous model like cheezy smile and then giggles noticing the frown on my face. How do people get this much energy in the morning? What am I missing?

"Anyway, I just came to check on you ." Huh . That's new .
"Check on me? Why?" I frown.
"You didn't come yesterday to the mall with Katie and me." What? Mall
"Maddie, what are you talking about? No one texted me." The look on her face tells me that she didn't know that I wasn't invited. A frown appears on her face. "Are you sure Katie didn't text you? When I asked her about you, she told me that she texted you, so you might be busy if you didn't come." So she's ignoring me now, just because of her stupid ass brother.

"I got no text from her, Maddie. I was home the whole day yesterday." Maddie thinks for a second then says.

"Maybe it's a misunderstanding. You know how she is. She might have forgotten to text you. Let's not read into this." We both know damn well that she didn't just all of a sudden forget to text me, but listen, it's 7 am, alright. I'd rather jump from the tenth floor than argue with this giant ball full of energy named Maddie, so I just shrug in response.

After that we both leave for work together. Maddie wanted to get coffee, and between my long-forgotten breakfast and today's hectic schedule, I decided to have a cup of black coffee too. After finishing our coffees and Maddie blabbering the whole time, we go our separate ways, and I take my black Porsche and head straight for the shoot.