Always

32 : die.

"Baby, look at me. Where are you distracted? You've been staring at your phone forever," Bella whines for the fiftieth time, breaking my trail of thoughts.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little distracted. Can we do that later?"
"No, we can't because I don't have clothes. We need to go shopping."
"Uh-huh." And then I finally get the call I've been waiting for. I pick up my phone and rush to the balcony.

"Celeste, please tell me she's okay? Grace and Maddie hate me for some reason. They won't let me anywhere near her."
I hear her sigh. "I would be lying if I said she's okay, Lucas. She's still super pale, tired, and can barely open her eyes. What did you do, Lucas?" I gulp as soon as I hear her question. Guilt is eating me alive.
"Wh-what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Grace and Maddie-they're really nice people, Lucas. I've always sucked when it came to female friendships, and you know that. Half of them are mean, and the other half are in some kind of silent competition with each other. But they never tried to downgrade me or made me feel like an outsider. Ivy... I seriously consider her my closest friend, and now they barely tell me anything because they know I will tell you. And yes, they do hate you, and honestly, even I'm starting to dislike the version you're becoming, especially when you're with her. So no, they told me nothing about what happened to her, and all I know is that Ivy begged them to be treated at home. She doesn't like hospitals, so she's coming back today in the evening. So fix this, Lucas. Fix it while you can."

"I'm sorry, Celeste. I'll talk to her, I promis-."

"Bye." She cuts the call without even hearing the answer properly. I try to breathe, but it feels like the breath just got knocked out of my lungs.

"So that's what was distracting you, huh?"
I turn around to see Bella leaning on the door, disappointed.
"Bella, she's in the hospital. I can't just be okay with it."
"Ugh, why do you even care about her, right after she lied to get us apart?" she says, cupping my face.

"I'm just scared you'll cheat on me or leave me again because of her. She might feed you lies again, and you'll believe her," she says, looking away.

"What? No, baby, that's ridiculous. I'm just concerned for her because she's a friend, nothing more. I'm right here with you." She smiles back. I want to give her attention, and she's my girlfriend. I know and feel okay when she hugs me or cuddles me to sleep, but I miss a certain skating with her, our late-night talks at the treehouse, or innocent sleepovers. The way one hug of hers would make me feel alive again. I exhale, trying to get away from Bella.

"I just need a moment to myself, baby."
"Oh, I'm leaving myself. I have somewhere to be."
"Bye."

---

"Hi, Abuela," she turns around, but her usual smile is missing.
"Hi, Lucas." Shit, she's angry with me too. Never did she ever call me by my name.
"I wanted to meet Ivy."
"No, she's resting. It's not quite possible. I can give her your message if you want, or else I suggest you leave," she says, holding a tray in her hands. I look around and notice a notepad and a pen. I quickly write what I want to say and tear that piece of paper, folding it nicely.
"Please give this to her." She nods.