My Midnight Thoughts: Things I Have In Mind, People Don't Know

the unspoken remorse

December 4th of the year 2022
I can still rewind the tape I kept not long ago
I was the batch president
Long before it was taken away

Long day, preparations felt exhausting
Being an officer, ain't that much easy
A representative, being in-charge in pageant
Garlands, Crown, been purchased to advent

Big event, significant day
Euphoric moments, flung in the air
The shouts of their chants on their yell
The competition in terms of camaraderie
A promising way to get underway

No lunch, no nothing
Just duties and responsibilities
Trying to let this event in success
With no troubles, like it should be

Run here, run there
The time is ticking
The tally's been recorded
Is it moving smoothly?

Afternoon sets, pageants in advent
Reassuring that everything is on set
As I asked one of my co-officers, "How's Jacob doing?"
He just said, "I don't know", and then run away
Unbeknownst to me, wandering what it might turns to be
Trying to convince myself, maybe someone has handled him

As I passed over to the other side of the corner
In a room where the men contestants are there
My eyes caught an independent guy, doing his things
While others, especially the ones in my team
Had their supporters, and he had nothing
The worries I had just running over like river
That made me request someone to assist him
I couldn't help him; I'm tied up at this moment
By a responsibility, being a competent officer
That I should be...

And when the event concluded
With the photo-ops happening
On the way home, posting stories
In social media, for a great success
As I scroll up, I noticed something
And it was him with a cake
I read the captions saying "Happy Birthday"
Gosh, was it his birthday today?!
I didn't know, I think it must be hard for him
To celebrate his birthday amidst -
Of what the majority from us did to him
My body shakes, of intense regrets

Unbeknownst to me, celebrating for a job well done
Little did I know, I just had abandoned someone 
The guilts started to eat me, for what I have done
I expressed my profound gratitude, for saving us
I should have helped him when I was given the chance
And now this unspoken remorse is telling me the guts -
To mend fences, if any chances that -
The both of us become classmates
I swear, I'd make it up to him
Amending my shortcomings to him