My Midnight Thoughts: Things I Have In Mind, People Don't Know

Conversations

Part I

I used to think that having conversations was fun
Like it feels safe that you share things of what's in your mind
Fussy stories, great memories, and bad horrors
Those were all the old days, now I shut my doors for communications

I'm too quick to obliterate such conversation
These wounds I have for years, were never removed
Too easy to get abandoned by a reckless fool
These ideas of mine were just encapsulated, never shown.

My ears are just sharp to eavesdrop some of their words
I'm an Argus-eyed with discreet motivations
They don't think I overheard their backbiting issues
It's just mere hate, not in my case to care for its output

I'm not much good enough of having conversations
I've been disciplined for so long that it turned my social butterfly to mute
If you once saw me being amicable of certain acquaintances
Then that wasn't me, whom you've seen from the hallway, running...

Part II

Running to get away from school
Avoiding physical contacts with people
I went home and scanned my phone
Then, I saw you in my peripheral vision

High on social media
Talked to my fellas
About what I've seen from my phone
Tried to stalk you, just to send a picture of you -
To my friends who are wondering about why I'm ecstatic
When I shouldn't be.
Isn't it marvelous?

"I bet he's handsome and tall as 5'10"
I bragged to my friends like he was 10/10
You're white, I know.
Asian? Maybe? Perhaps, I thought -
Starting conversations would be my first move
But, I wonder if you'd open the door when I knock onto you

It's a flirting season, we'd do it until midnight
You know I just want you to be mine
I'm too needy to have conversations with you
'til you get tired of me and you'll find someone later too
Just answer my chat, 'fore I'll get over you
'cause I can't stand waiting patiently for the response made from you