standing outside of school with neil, jay and will charlotte suddenly walks past us saying hi to us all as will suddenly runs off after her
"is he actually running after her?" i question looking back at him
"he's such a bender" jay laughs and neil puts his arm around my shoulder and we start walking into school
at lunch we all into the dining hall to see neil sat at a table with a bunch of books next to him as he is reading one
"what are you doing?" simon questioned him
"i'm reading" neil answers not looking away from his book as i sit down next to him
"that's what i meant"simon says
"oh i don't know why anyone bothers with this shit it's like a slow version of TV" neil looks at us
"then why bother?" simon asks him making him turn to me
"for my blind date, it will make me sound clever if i say i read and girls like clever blokes don't they livvy?"
i turn to him shrugging"um sure i guess" i don't realy want to talk about neil trying to impress other girls
"but once a girl speaks to you she'll realise your not a clever bloke" will comments making me kick him under the table for his rudeness
"exactly that's why i am saying i read books"neil seems very confident in his plan
"no not exactly because you'll still seem stupid"
"exactly"
"oh okay then neil that clears it up good plan"will gives up trying to clear up to neil his plan isn't going to work
"you coming round to mine tonight play pro evo?jay asks us
"depends will your football friend be there?" simon replies making us all laugh as we mock him
"come round mine tonight my dads out" neil suggests
"oo at last" will jokes
"no i mean going out"
"cottaging?" simon joins in the joke
"no he's playing badminton"
"sounds like a euphemism"neil now just looks confused i don't think he knows what that word means
"we're not going round yours, your house stinks"jay says making me look at him
"it does not" i defend neil and his house
"your just used to it because your there all the time, no offence mate but it does smell odd" simon laughs
"like what?" neil asks confused and offended
"just smells like being poor" jay comments even making me laugh at that
charlotte then messages will from the other side of the dining hall
"i don't know why she doesn't just come up and say hello"will looks down at his phone sadly
"because she dosent want to be seen dead with you"jay comments
"well on friday she will be doing a lot more then being seen dead with me"will says like a cocky bastard
"your having sex?"simon sounds surprised
"nice"neil nods his head at him
"does she know your still a virgin?" i ask him
"nope i told her i got laid last week" he says confidently to me as i scrunch my nose up in disgust
"here's a tip for you. the more fingers the better, they fucking love it. try to get at least three" we all look at jay with wide eyes "what i'm telling you all the birds i've shagged love it"
"so no birds love that" i say
"well your mum loves it" he shoots back
simon then tells will how he thinks that charlotte is just using will to get back at donaven which caused a whole argument between the two of them
simon then turns around to see jay and neil pretending to shag the books making me put my head down on the table
we were out by the park when jays 'friend' drove up to us telling us how he got new rims for his wheels
jay turns around to us angrily "he's not my fucking friend"
"friend" simon mocks making me and neil both laugh
he then walks off and run after him still mocking him
as we're walking we pass jays 'friends' house
"i'll show you how much of a friend he is"jay then begins jumping on the car making the alarm go off as we look at him in shock we see his 'friend' walk out of his house
"jay what the fuck?"
"i never thought he'd get that wound up" i whisper to simon and neil
as jay continues to jump on the car me simon and neil decide the best thing to do is run away and not get in trouble
it was the schools blind date show and i was sat with two other girls on the side of a stage. one of the girls next to me was a gorgeous girl in my year and the other girl next to me was that girl who was doing her a levels four years early when the guy comes out and starts asking questions i quickly recognised his voice to be neil's i then try and make my answer's something that he would pick so i had a chance to go on a date with him
"right have you made your decision?" gilbert asks neil
"erm i dunno" neil says
"come on i know it's for charity but we've still got another one to go get on with it" gilbert rushes neil on
"umm number three" the crowd then laugh at him for picking suzy when he walks past the card board and sees me he groans in disappointment which i just laugh at. i would have been jealous or disappointed but because it was her i just found it funny
i walked off the stage into the crowd when i saw simon and jay sat down and went to sit with them
suddenly charlotte walks out on stage and tells the crowd that she is single and looking for a real man as the crowd laughs will gets up and walks out of the hall
feeling bad for will me, simon and jay go to his house to invite him to go see neil's date with a child
"oh hello mrs mackenzie is will in?" i ask her with a polite smile
she smiles gratefully at us and leaves us alone at the door with will.
"we just wanted to know if you could come out?" simon said as will looked at us confused
"neil's date is that weird girl who's taking her A-levels four years early, turns out she's about 12 he's at milwaukee fried chicken"
"she's so young her mums had to go with her"
" the three of them are probably all sitting there around a bargain bucket" we all try and convince him to come with us
"actually that does sound funny" will smiles at us as he gets his jacket and tells his mum he's going out
"how's your football friend?"will asks jay as me and simon laugh remembering what happened
"i don't think we're friends anymore"jay says looking down" i had to borrow 300 quid to get his car fixed so he won't call the police"
"it was amazing" i commented
"yeah you should have seen it" simon chimes in
"he's a realy nice bloke i don't know why i did it" jay says regretfully
"you've got mental problems?" will asks making us all laugh as we walk to the restaurant that neil is having his date at
YOU ARE READING
wanker(the inbetweeners)
Humorneil sutherland x oc simon coppers sister olivia cooper has been friends with jay and neil for as long as she can remember and when will comes to the school and the group start ending up in a bunch of situations she will realise that she has deeper...
